Suicide at College and College Selection

Recently, the Boston Globe reported on yet another unfortunate death due to suicide at MIT.  These have been happening among both undergraduate and graduate students.  In 2010, Cornell experienced six in one school year.

What does that teach us?

First, there is no conclusive data which directs us to a problem to solve.  Is the problem the school atmosphere?  Or the students' own backgrounds and cultures?  Or personal problems?  At this point, there is no answer.

The national average is 7.5 -12 suicides per 100,000 15-24 year olds (Depending on what source you use for that statistic).  The rate in the past decade at MIT is 18.1.  But they are not alone.  The Daily Beast, in March 2011, posted a list of the top 50 most stressful US colleges.

As a student focused college planner, finding the right setting for each student to continue their education is paramount in my mind.  It must be considered - Just because a student qualifies for a top university does not mean that the best choice for that student would be one of those schools.  It may be, but, for some students, they might be better off being a big fish in a smaller, more gentle pond.

There are a few action steps parents can take, need to take, in order to appropriately prepare their high school student to go off to college.  First, teach and empower your student to be his or her own advocate, to ask for help when it is needed.  S/he must learn to recognise his or her need for assistance, the sources for that help, no matter what kind it is, and how to successfully ask for it.  Each of these is crucial.  S/he cannot get help with organising their papers until s/he recognises that there things are in disarray and it would be helpful to have them in better order.  The student identifies the situation, and identifies it as a problem, as something which, if changed, would be more beneficial to him.

If your child has special needs of any kind, facilitate letting the college know about it.  Do NOT live in denial.  The problem(s) won't just disappear.  College tends to make them worse, because students have to learn to be far more self-reliant than they were in high school.  So, if s/he is struggling with depression, is ADD, needs learning supports, what have you, identify the appropriate office(s) on campus and make sure they are notified of your child's needs.  Ideally, have your student contact them directly.  Classroom accommodations are a right for qualified students.  Ensure that your child is able to get his or her needs met.

Lastly, check with your insurance, or the campus insurance, regarding benefits for the services your child needs.  Knowing what is available will help your family get the needed help in the most efficient manner possible.

Partnering effectively with your college planner, parents can continue to facilitate their children's success.

Overkill or a Savvy Strategy?

The admissions offices are so happy.  This season was such a success for so many of them!  Record numbers of applicants came in.  My undergrad alma mater's president commented, with glee, that the number of applicants has doubled in the past 6 years.  That's Northwestern, with over 30,000 applications.  Penn says: more than 31,500 students applied for 2,400 spaces in the class resulting in an all-time low overall admit rate of 12 percent!  Harvard only accepted 6.2% of their 35,000 applicants.  Yale and Columbia accepted fewer than 6% of the RD applicants and only 7% of EA/ED!


Look at these application numbers:  In 2013, about 250,000 applications were received by MIT, the Ivies, and Stanford.  In 2015, it was 298,000!


Northwestern, Penn, Stanford, Princeton, Dartmouth, Cornell all report record numbers of applicants.  Together with the other Ivy League and Highly Selective Universities, admit rates plummeted.  Of the Ivies, only Cornell and Penn admitted more than 10% of the applicants.  The average number of applicants was 30,717.  There are only 24,149 seats all together!  With nearly 300,000 applicants!


It's not just the super elite schools, either.  Christendom, a tiny staunchly Catholic school reports its "best recruiting year ever" with a full class, and a waiting list.  The U of California schools also report record numbers of applicants.


So, what does it all mean?  Primarily it means that the schools very effectively preyed on people's fears of not getting in and students applied to many, many schools.  The norm used to be 6 schools - 4 good fits, a reach, and a safety school.  In the past two years, that has quickly shifted to 10 schools per student, with many of the bright kids applying to 15 or more.


Does the frenzy benefit anyone?  Well, yes.  The schools benefit.  They can all raise their tuition and fees.  The financial aid office, overall, can give out fewer dollars.  They have the same number of seats - with so many applicants, why should they accept those with great financial need?  There are very few need-blind schools (schools which do not consider financial need as part of their admissions process.)  Once again, our poorer students are going to bear the brunt of the negative consequences.


What do we do about it?  Well, let's take back our power.  Resist the fear of not getting in, choose schools prudently, and apply to 6-8.  Reduce the family's expense (there are application fees) and stress level.  Reduce the teacher and counselor recommenders' stress, too.  


Another factor to the numbers explosion may well be that 414 US colleges and universities can be applied to with a single application.  The Common Application is the way to apply to ALL of the Ivies, ALL of the top liberal arts colleges, and nearly all of the non-Ivy top schools.  Only Georgetown, UCLA, UNC Chapel Hill, USC, and MIT don't use it.  The Common App. makes applying to numerous elite schools very, very easy.


Perhaps our elite schools could be encouraged to differentiate themselves again.  Given that it's all a numbers game, chances are slim.  Let's walk through this.  Say one school goes back to a private application.  That means extra work for all the applicants also applying to other Ivy/elite schools.  Those schools using Naviance (many of the better high schools) directly interface with the Common App.


Until the powers that be shift their focus or find that the market is saturated, I doubt we will see reform.  This side of the universities is their business side, not their lofty intellectual side.  With business, it's all in the numbers.  What is best doesn't come into consideration very much.


So, in the meantime, I urge sanity.  Choose your schools carefully.  Don't go for a school because it is prestigious.  Apply because it would be a terrific place for you, in particular, to grow and develop as a person and as an educated person.

Geeks and Social Cliques

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110510/us_yblog_thelookout/why-geeks-make-better-adults-than-the-in-crowd
This article posits what many of us "geeks" discover later in life.  By being different and retaining our individuality, our creativity, our uniqueness, and not abandoning our self-respect in order to conform and be accepted, we are happier with ourselves.  Our lives are more fulfilling.  We have fun and find deeper pleasure.  We also, often, continue to walk at a bit of an angle to the mainstream.  Our interests and tastes are not terribly influenced by the media or the advertisements which saturate our society and strongly support conformity.  Some of us have gone so far as to unplug ourselves; we don't own or watch television.  We retain control of our access to media, picking and choosing from the offerings on the internet, at the library and the now disappearing book store, on hiking trails, etc.  Frankly, with a house full of children, I don't have time to waste watching television.  I am too busy working with my children, helping them learn their lessons for school, and for life - conflict resolution, taking up the responsibilities which accompany freedom/privileges, working together for the good of all by contributing to the effective running of the household, etc.

Daring to step aside from the crowd takes courage, and the conviction that our pursuits are worthy of our time and attention.  The most precious asset any of us has is time - we will never have it again nor can we "earn" more of it.  So, our choice of how to spend it is key.

It is important to support the creative and free thinking of our students, particularly our elite students.  Consequently, liberal arts educations are highly esteemed by me.  There are many colleges and universities which will give students a mainstream education.  However, our innovators are not likely to thrive there, no matter how recognisable the university's name.

It is absolutely critical that parents and students keep the college selection task at the forefront of their minds for the first three years of high school, and before that, if the child is gifted, intellectually, athletically, or artistically.  During these years, college exploration and evaluation must be an ongoing task.  What is the best setting to further the educational goals of this student?  Which environment will best facilitate optimal growth and development of our student/child's gifts?  What setting is best?  If, however, the family's goal is prestige, then their favored college selections will be skewed and a serious mismatch may well occur.  The film, "Dead Poet's Society" is a must-watch for high school parents.  It is absolutely critical that parents listen to their children and honor them.  Don't put Harvard hopes on a child who would be stifled at Harvard.  It is the solemn responsibility of parents to remember that this is about the child, not the bumper sticker.  It's not about bragging rights to the prestigious schools.  It's about the bragging rights that our child is blossoming and joyfully developing his or her talents in a healthy, supportive environment.

Don't get me wrong; there is a place for prestigious schools.   I went to two of them.  I have the diplomas on my wall.  But, those pieces of paper, valuable though they are, do not make me the woman I am today.  My choices do.  My ability to reason, evaluate, and carry out activities and bring ideas into fruition do. My morals, revealed in my daily living choices, reveal who I am.  I may have the best education from THE best schools but, if I use it for ill, I will wear an orange prison jumpsuit and share a cell with a high school drop out.

As parents, it is imperative that we support our children as they walk the halls of our schools.  That we support their uniqueness and giftedness, whether it is the "in" thing or not, whether they will apply to the Ivies, or the community colleges.  It is, after all, our job to help our children become the best, most productive adults possible.  They are the future leaders of our families, communities, companies, and nation.  They are not our trophies - "Harvard Mom" bumper stickers cannot be our goals if we are being true to ourselves and our children (unless, of course, our student is a Harvard-type student).

So, go do the "right" thing and encourage your child to be true to him or herself!  To be the best person he or she can be, every day.

How do I determine that a School is the right one for me?

US News and World Report uses a number of criteria, criteria which may or may not be in line with what is most important to you and your student.  If a professor, for example, wins a very prestigious award, does that tell you how good he or she is in the classroom?  Is any real contact possible with such professors?  Or are their classes handled by TAs (grad students who are teaching interns)? 

It is imperative that students and their parents more thoroughly investigate schools they are considering applying to.  Is Harvard, for example, the best place for your student to study in his or her chosen field?  Maybe, maybe not.

Here are some things to explore regarding colleges and universities you are considering:

Have you been on campus?  Sat in on classes?  Spoken to other students in that major?  Professors?  Are there undergraduate research or internship opportunities available?  Are there 2 of them for 5000 students, or is there a realistic chance that this would be part of your experience at that university?  What is dorm life like?  Is it party, party, party?  Is it all study and no play?  Is there a balance?  Can you find a place to study when you might need one?  What sorts of activities are going on - everyone needs to socialise and take a break now and again.    Are the typical activities of interest to you?  Do they refresh you and ready you for another round with the books?
  What sorts of discussions happen in the classes? Is this school notoriously intolerant of real discussion of various viewpoints?  After all, isn't true intellectual exploration a key part of a college education?  What sort of discussions happen in the dining halls and the dorm lounges?  Are students bashing those with particular viewpoints, or are they regularly engaging in meaningful examination of the merits of various arguments and positions? 

  What sorts  of alumni associations are there?  Do graduates often get accepted at their desired graduate schools?  Is the placement office efficacious in helping graduates and older alumni find positions?

This is by no means an exhuastive list of questions.  It is a representative sample.  Create your own, customised list.  What are the most important facets of a college education and experience for you?  Make a list; from your list, draft your key questions.  These will guide your campus visits.

None of these questions is easy to answer.  You have to do some real research and spend time truly exploring your candidate universities.  Name brands only take you so far - then you need to seriously explore the opportunities offered and value given for the price at that program in that university in order to determine which should remain on your list of schools to apply to and which should not.