Who's on Your College Success Team?

Parents are key members of teens' support team. School counselors and teachers are also important. College Consultants like myself wear many hats. These are some of the hats I've been wearing for the past 20 years as I have worked with teens and their families.

Teen Life Coach

Goal Setting. Encouragement. Accountability Partner. Mentor. Coach through Failures and Difficulties. Teach Interpersonal Skills. Encourage Development of Strong Character Traits & Virtues

Academic Coach

Study Skills. Time Management. Task Prioritization. Organization. Foster Healthy Habit Formation.

Leadership Mentor

Identify Opportunities. Teach and Foster Leadership Skills. Troubleshoot Problems. Celebrate Growth.

College Admissions Specialist

Guide Life & College Goal Determination Process. Clarify & Guide College Selection Process. College Essay Writing Coaching & Editing. Application Preparation Management

College Funding Specialist

Identify Opportunities to Lower Costs. Advise on Saving Strategies. Scholarship Strategist. Financial Aid Maximization Coaching

Parent Coach

Stress Management. Effective Communication Facilitator. Subject Matter Expert. Sanity Stabilizer. Prayer Partner.

Want to explore bringing me onto your teen's college success team? Email me, Katherine O'Brien, at KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com and request a college prep consultation for your family.

Katherine O'Brien is a Certified College Planning Specialist and the Founder of Celtic College Consultants, an independent education consultancy serving families across the US since 2004. Her Class of 2015 - Class of 2024 College Success Program Clients have averaged nearly $250,000 each in scholarship offers and have headed to campus with goals, skills, and confidence.

Three Steps to a Solid College List

 by Katherine O'Brien, Certified College Planning Specialist

KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

As a college consultant, I have guided students through these steps for over twenty years.  It is very difficult to do this on your own. The fact that over 13% of all college students transfer to another college and over 80% change their major at least once. For those attending four year public colleges fully two-thirds take more than four years to graduate. At private colleges, nearly half (47%) take more than four years to graduate. Want to save on college costs? Invest in college consulting to help your teen determine his or her goals, select the right colleges to thrive at and finish in four years. To explore working together, email me at KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com and schedule an initial consultation for your family.

 

Step ONE: Pre-Work

 

There are a number of questions that need to be answered before a student can build a list of prospective colleges. Start to explore these areas in middle school. Have a rough list by the end of sophomore year so you can determine which tests to take (or skip) during junior year and which courses to take during high school. Here are some of the questions:

 

Who you are – personality, interests, strengths, weaknesses, hopes, dreams

What you want to study – which majors and programs

How you want to study – what opportunities do you need/want?

What academic fit is right for you?

What is your budget for each year of college?

How long do you want to spend in college?

What are your non-negotiables? Location, religious concerns, political concerns, costs, majors, etc.

What are your wants and what are your needs?

What sort of environment do you need in which to thrive?

 

Students need to visit campuses – so they know what small, medium, and large campuses are

like and so have a sense of the campus culture.

 

Step TWO: Determine Your College Selection Criteria

 

 

Set your criteria. Prioritize them. Your criteria will differ from your friends' and your siblings' criteria. That's ok - you are unique. Your college criteria will reflect that.

Step THREE: Evaluate and Identify your Prospective Colleges

Select two safety schools that have what you want to study, you are likely to be admitted,

and they are likely to be affordable. Select three to six good fit colleges. If you like, select,

one or two reach colleges

Here are the major criteria to consider  -

Criteria	Guiding questions
Financial aid	What’s your likely out of pocket (Net cost) going to be? Colleges have “net price calculators” on their website.
Cost of attendance	How expensive is the college? How much have costs been increasing each year over the past few years?
Location	Do you want to be located near home? In a city, or a smaller suburb/town? How’s the weather in the area? Is it safe? Is it near interesting places you’d want to regularly visit or  intern with?
Transportation	How do you get to class? Can you walk or bike from your accommodation? How do you get around town or to the nearest city? If you’re planning to bring a car, is there plentiful parking? Parking fees?
Major	Does it have a major aligned with your interests? Or can you create your own major? What about dual major? Minors?
Academic programs	In general, how strong are its academics? How strong is the department related to your intended major? Is there a “core curriculum” or course requirements you’ll have to take (and if so, do you like them)?
Campus	What’s the campus like? Is it on its own, or integrated in a city? Do you like how it looks?
Housing options	Does the university provide housing? Do students tend to stay in their own shared apartments, or in dorms? Could you live at home? Is it a commuter campus?
Student culture	What’s the general vibe of the place? Is there anything the student body is known for? Is it a party school?
Student body size	Is it a big, medium, or small school?
Student body diversity	How diverse is the school, in terms of race, socio-economic status, country or US state of origin, sexual orientation, or gender identity? Are there particular types of diversity you might care more or less about?
Professor interactions	What’s the average class size? Are there opportunities for smaller seminars? Do most professors have office hours? Are most classes taught by actual professors or by graduate students?
Extracurriculars	What student clubs are there? What are popular student extracurriculars?
Research opportunities	Can you work in a science or other lab? Can you become a Research Assistant for a professor, as an undergrad? Can you get funding for your own research? What about internships or co-op programs?
Sports	Is the school highly ranked in certain sports, and are sporting events (e.g. football or basketball) highly attended? Can you play club sports?
Greek Life	Are fraternities and sororities a big part of campus life? Which ones are on campus?
Study abroad options	Do many students study abroad? What programs does the school offer, and to what destinations?  Do these fit your goals?
Health and Wellness	What’s the student health/medical center like? Does the school offer free medical help or check-ups? What about mental health? What’s the gym like? How’s the food? (Is it delicious and/or healthy?)
Religious affiliation	Does the school have a religious affiliation? Are there religious services available on campus (e.g., a church with a regular Sunday service)?
Political leaning	Does the school (either the professors or the student body) have a political leaning? If you are political, are there outlets like student clubs for you to continue your activism?
School history	How old is the school? What is its history and legacy?
Reputation / Rank	How highly ranked is the school? What is its reputation generally? Specifically for your intended major?
Career center / Job help	Is there a strong career center to help you find summer internships or a job after graduation? Is there a strong alumni network or community that you can tap into?

Three Critical Skills Teens Need to Thrive as Adults

by Katherine O'Brien, Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder of Celtic College Consultants

 

 

What are the critical lessons we need to teach our kids so they will be successful adults?

 

While they need to be able to read, write, and calculate, teens need to learn a few other fundamental skills as well.

 

The bedrock of adulthood isn’t glamourous. It’s tedious. Banal. Hidden. Unappreciated. Unseen. Yet, it is absolutely essential to living a mature life and being a productive adult, a responsible man or woman, a great employee, business owner, or volunteer, a good parent.

 

Teens need to learn discipline and resiliency. SO many these days are not learning these two skills.

 

A professor friend recently shared that she told her college students recently that they “weren’t coloring rainbows behind Noah’s ark” anymore. This was college theology. These non-theology majors thought her intro class would be an easy A. They have been stunned to find that they have to do the work and submit it on time. Really? This is college success 101. Do the work. Do it well. Turn it in on time.

 

Another professor friend related how he’s had to shift his approach because so many have been using AI to do their work. Rather than read the text and summarize it themselves, they were using AI to do that for them. Now he is leading small group discussions, which demand that the students articulate what they have read and learned. Again, college success 101. Do the work. Don’t cheat.

 

How can we help our kids be successful in college and in life?

 

TEACH THEM TO DO THE WORK

 

1.        Hold them accountable to do the work that is assigned. Whether that means you must oversee their work (which, I do realize, is quite time consuming) or that they have to put actual pen/pencil to actual paper, find ways to ensure your teen is doing the assigned work without assistance.

2.        A study group can be useful, of course, unless it’s really a way for them to cheat. A group to discuss the material, review their problem sets, troubleshoot difficulties can be very helpful. A group that divides up the work so each does only a portion of the problem set or reading, etc., truncates what each learns. Each only does a portion of the work. Groups should do more than 100% of the work. Each member does 100% of the assignment, THEN they meet to discuss it.

3.        Teach them how to get help when they are stuck, need help, don’t understand. This is a key skill. Fewer and fewer teens are able to ask for help. Advocating for yourself is a key skill, whether it means asking for fresh fruit to be available, or that a portion of a school lesson be explained again (and again).

4.        Teach discipline. Whether it’s physical exercise, self-restraint, doing chores well or some other means, teach your children to discipline themselves, to say no to themselves. Teach them to harness their strength, to curb their selfishness, to work diligently to develop their talents and habits of virtue.

 

Some practical suggestions:

 

Give your teen opportunities to ask for help, to advocate for themselves. Have them make appointments, check in at the doctor’s office, make calls or take the steps needed to get more information. Have them plan a trip or vacation. Have them map out the errands, research where to purchase something you’ve not purchased before, compare prices and features for a major purchase, speaking to various salespeople to gather the information.

 

Set SMART goals for them. Teach them to achieve them.

 

Specific – define the task/project clearly.

Measurable – have clearly measurable attributes which indicate that the goal has been accomplished

Attainable – ensure that the goal is actually possible. (It’s ok if the goal pushes them to ask for assistance, more information, etc.)

Relevant – the goal should be relevant to your life in some way.

Time-bound – a goal needs a deadline.

 

TEACH THEM TO MEET DEADLINES

 

Increasingly, students are being allowed to get extensions on their work in high school. This kindness is sometimes actually necessary. Unforeseen situations do arise. does happen.

 

Let’s teach our kids to plan ahead.

 

Here’s an example. One of my clients has a grandparent who has had significant health challenges lately. Last week, it looked like she might die. My student and her mom spent the entire night with her. Grandma is home now, doing better. I coached my student to plan ahead from here on out, finishing her tasks for school and her college applications and our meetings ahead of time, allowing her to have a shot at submitting assignments and applications by their deadline, even if Grandma’s health fails again and she needs to tend to her.

 

Train kids to notice what possible challenges there are in their lives and to plan accordingly. Allow extra time. Arrange for people to be available to help in some way, in case they are needed. Often we are aware that there is a need or possible situation that could arise. We know that the laundry will need to be done, the car needs a tune up, etc. We know that friends or relatives are coming into town next month or a holiday is coming up and we need to prepare. By being aware of the potential demands on our time, we can plan our tasks to allow us the time for those things. If they don’t arise, then there will be extra time to improve the assignment, take a carefree walk before an exam, etc.

 

TEACH THEM RESILIENCY - HOW TO GO ON AFTER FAILURE OR LOSS

 

The only way to learn how to bounce back from difficulty is to experience difficulty and failure and loss. I regularly meet parents who bend over backwards to ensure that their child’s life is comfortable, that as many difficulties and obstacles as possible are removed from their life. While I completely understand the desire to help our kids avoid pain, there is an irreplaceable opportunity for growth in character, patience, and resiliency when trials and suffering comes.

 

When suffering comes, teach your child to thank God. Teach him or her how to bear the pain, how to cry, how to journal or exercise to express the pain in their heart. Teach him or her how to constructively channel their agony. Teach your child how to breathe despite the pain, that life goes on, the sun keeps rising on a new day. Depend on God, cast your cares on Him. Ground yourself when you are overcome – notice the chair you are sitting on, the ground beneath your feet, the sounds of the birds and the air moving around you, etc. Teach them how to move forward despite the fog of the pain, taking one little step after another, despite the pain. Show your child how to accompany others during times of grief or illness or suffering. Teach patience. Cultivate the habit of keeping the long term in mind. What is now will pass away.

 

Let them feel pain and loss. Let them learn to bear suffering.

 

Teach them how to break open failure. Failure is a powerful teacher, if we but take the time to break it open. Examine what happened. Identify the various factors, actions, decisions led to the outcome. Notice what successes there were in the midst of the failure. Determine what could be done differently and explore how to approach similar problems differently in the future. Teach them the mindset of not identifying with their failures. They are not their failures, nor are they defined by them. Show them the many examples. Abraham Lincoln is one example. Jonathan Roumie is another. There are many others. Break open the reality that the successful people have experienced and learned from many failures in their lives and that success doesn’t happen overnight, even if it sometimes looks like it does. Share your own story. For most of us, our spouse was not our first love or first girl/boyfriend. Let your children see that you failed and erred and learned and grew… and are continuing to learn and grow.

 

 

The Key to Helping Your Teen Stop Procrastinating and Wasting Time

by Katherine O'Brien, Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder of Celtic College Consultants

 

Time management…

 

Do you struggle to work on your tasks before the last minute?

Do you get lost in your day and find your online class taking forever?

Do you play games rather than do your work?

 

Lots of us struggle with these sorts of things. Most of us, actually, do not have type A, internally motivated to run on hyper-drive personalities (and that is a GOOD thing!)

 

What to do?

 

There are many strategies to organize your work and your time. Simple ones. Color-coded ones. Paper based. App based. Free ones. Expensive programs. However, the best tool in the world is NO help if it is not used. No tool will be used without someone being motivated to use it. So, let’s talk about motivation for a minute.

 

In order to change what we do, we need to have identified what we want to change. We need to want to change it. Being honest with ourselves and identifying weaknesses is hard. Desiring to change something is hard. Change is hard. Change requires taking uncomfortable, unfamiliar actions.  To do something new, something different, we need courage. Support helps, too. Courage is being afraid and acting anyway. It takes energy. It takes the strength of will to choose the new in favor of the familiar.

 

Why?

 

Underneath all of that is motivation. Motivation is essential. It gives us a reason to change, provides purpose, drive, focus, and helps us sustain ourselves through the discomfort of doing something new, stepping out of our comfort zone and into a new way of living.

 

Motivation focuses on the goal, what will be gained in the long term by this short term action, by making this change, by doing something hard, taking an action or refraining from taking one, speaking, or not speaking. Motivation drives us toward certain outcomes and away from others. Sometimes our goal is to move toward something; other times our goal is to move away from something. For example, I want to learn to dance or I don’t want to be uncoordinated on the dance floor when I go to my friend’s wedding.

 

 

Positive motivations

 

Positive motivations are things we desire in life. These are things we want to acquire in life. Here are a few examples:

 

o   Accomplishing a desired goal or a step toward a desired goal, like being able to drive a car.

o   Creating or sustaining an opportunity, like starting and growing a friendship with someone you meet whom you like.

o   Being praised by others – getting a good grade, performance review, high five, etc., like winning a medal at the Olympics/Paralympics

o   Sense of self-worth/ pride/ ability/ confidence

o   Making someone proud or honouring someone, like parents, friends, mentors, etc.

o   Being ready for whatever comes next in life, like being fit, well educated, etc.

 

Negative motivations

 

Negative motivations are things we don’t want in life. These are things we want to rid ourselves of or want to avoid. Here are a few examples:

 

·      Losing something – a privilege, an opportunity, a job

·      Failing and feeling bad about yourself, less capable, etc.

·      Being embarrassed – losing the esteem of others

·      Being punished

·      Being unable to take advantage of the opportunities in life, by, for example, being unhealthy, physically unfit, uneducated, etc.

 

Want to get organized or manage your time better? Find your why! Really focus on what motivates you. Then do the work to take the step(s) forward that you need. Learn how to do, be, or think whatever you need to in order to accomplish your goal. Get an accountability partner to coax you through the learning process and celebrate your growth with you, and take another step toward becoming the best you can be!

 

So, time management –

 

Discover your reason for wanting to organize your time more effectively. Take the time to identify your goal(s) as well as the reason(s) that goal is important to you.

 

Over and over and over in my college consulting work, I have the privilege of helping teens sort themselves out, come to know their gifts, talents, interests, desires, and start to create a vision of what they could do in the future. Because it is based in themselves and their values (helping other people, for example), it is theirs, deeply theirs. It’s completely different from the imposed from the outside goals often foisted upon them. Once they know they want to do this sort of thing in their life, then taking challenging classes, learning the material taught to them, earning good grades, scoring well on the ACT, CLT, or SAT, all these chores, these tasks that take time and effort and require diligent effort, all of these tasks are worth doing. No longer are they impositions from the adult world; they are now stepping stones towards a life I want to live, work I want to do. Motivation makes all the difference!

 

For more information about my College Success Program, please visit my website, CelticCollegeConsultants.com. To schedule a consultation for you and your teen to meet with me, please email me: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

 

How to Choose what to do after high school…

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD candidate, Certified College Planning Specialist kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

 

 

Again and again teens report feeling overwhelmed about choosing a college major. Many also are stressed out about deciding whether or not to even go to college.

This is exactly what I do in the early phase of my College Success Program. I use a data driven, step by step process to help teens determine which career aligns with who they are, with their individual gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, personality, values, etc. Once that is identified, we proceed to explore  programs, majors, and schools (or other paths) to get them to their goal.

 

Here are a few of the key questions

 

Who are you?

What are your strengths?

What are your weaknesses?

What are your interests?

What are your values (moral, social, ecological, etc.)

What are your dreams?

How do you best learn? – What method(s)? What setting(s)?

 

Where do you want to go in life?

What kind of work?

What kind of Peers?

What kind of person do you want to become?

What kind of person do you want to marry?

Where do you want to live? (What kind of locale? Where in the country?)

 

What are the paths to get from where you are to there?

What are the requirements? Degrees, certifications, internships, etc.

What kind of professional network do you need to build?

What kinds of friends do you need to cultivate?

What sort of lifestyle will help you get there?

Which of your weaknesses do you need to overcome in order to be successful?

How can you leverage your strengths to do that?

 

Which of those is the best way for you to get there?

What environment do you need in order to thrive? – living circumstances, learning circumstances, social environment…

 

What do you need to do to get from here to there?

College?

Apprenticeship?

Trade School?

Certificate program?

On the job training?

 

So, how is a 17 year old supposed to decide? Is it even possible?

 

To be honest, most don’t do very well at this. The introspection required is difficult. Having a mentor and accountability partner to lead you through this exploration is essential to this process. Most never do it… and fumble around in college, changing majors, dropping out, or working various jobs after high school, sort of figuring things out by a somewhat random process of elimination. Both of those are inefficient and painful. Learning by discovering what makes you miserable is pretty brutal. Some of us can project, can imagine a future in a certain circumstance and decide whether heading that direction would be good for us. Most of us can’t do that. We have no idea how to imagine something we have not experienced.

 

ALL of my College Success Program students start with this process. Only after we have these answers, do  I guide them to programs, majors, and colleges (or trade schools!) that offer what they are looking for. Email me to set up an initial meeting to discuss your situation and how the College Success Program can help your teen on his or her journey to college. KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

Drug Use & Teens, It's Not What it Used to Be

 by Katherine O'Brien, ThD candidate & Certified College Planning Specialist

Over 11% of the 7.7M drug related ER visits were made by 18-25 year olds. This age group also has the highest rate of cannibus related ER visits. (per a 2023 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration report)

A recent article by Dr. Jill Grimes, a college health specialist, pointed out a number of blind spots many of us have about drugs, particularly with regard to our teens and drugs.

1. "Good" kids won't use drugs - especially my child, who is smart, responsible, successful, and has a "good head" on his or her shoulders. Unfortunately, you might still get a call about your young adult child OD'ing, hallucinating, becoming paranoid, depressed, or having a substance-related car accident.

 

2. My kid would never get near a drug dealer - a seedy person in a dark alley somewhere. Life has changed. Lots of undergrads are dealing drugs, even though they don't realize they are drug dealers. Here's what it looks like today: a dorm friend passing along some pills to an overtired classmate, someone sharing prescription ADHD meds to help a friend focus.... this is often what drug dealers look like today. Maybe they are just sharing a THC laced gummy candy or brownie with a friend with social anxiety.

Eating a brownie, or other edible, isn't lighting up a cigarette or joint, right? Even our good, rule abiding kids are getting tripped up by the innocent looking ways drugs are offered and used all around their campus.

3. Lots of parents and/or our friends smoked a little weed in college, and we turned out ok. So, we think a little experimentation won't hurt our kids, since it didn't hurt us.

With the legalization of marijuana (yes, I'm dating myself by even using that term) or cannabis, use has become very very common. One 2023 study Dr. Grimes mentioned was a couple of recent studies of 14,000+ students on more than a dozen Texas college campuses, where recreational cannabis is illegal) that found that almost 40% of them had used it - a whopping 26% had used it on their Texas college campus!! 

Today's weed is stronger than what was available in the '80s and '90s. The concentration of THS was less than 1.5% in 1980 to almost 4% in 1994, to an average of OVER 16% in 2022, per the National Institute of Drug Abuse. A Colorado report stated that the marijuana flowers produced there now have an average of 19.2% THC per gram and the hash and oils, concentrated products, average over 65% per gram  - vaping cartridges average nearly 80% per gram. Today's weed is FAR more addictive.

4. Self-medicating has become pretty common. Our young adults are more stressed and less resilient than previous generations has been. Many kids have Xanax or Adderall prescriptions. That familiarity makes others think it's safe to buy a prescription med from a friend. And that friend may not realize that he or she is actually a drug dealer. Since they are seeing such free use of prescribed pills, some conclude that all pills are safe, but they aren't.

Our kids are facing more subtle and complex challenges than we did in this arena. It's not just happening at parties. It's not limited to the fringe kids. It's happening all over campus and in the dorms, in ways and forms that seem harmless or safe. Add the increased potency to that mix and it's no wonder so many are becoming addicted and/or finding themselves in the ER or having a related crisis.

5. Parents CAN prepare their kids for the reality of drugs on campus.

Add Narcan to their first aid kit and teach them how and when to administer it. Narcan is helpful for stopping the ill effects of an opioid or fentanyl overdose. You can buy it without a prescription but will likely need to ask the pharmacist for it since most keep it behind the counter rather than on the shelves.

Teach your student/teen about the various ways drugs are showing up on campus these days and encourage them to visit the health clinic or other medical facility on campus with they experience a serious inability to focus or concentration, insomnia, or test or social anxiety. Proper care and treatment can help significantly.

Encourage them to seek help BEFORE things become a crisis. Nipping a problem in the bud is so much better than having to deal with the mess afterwards. Careful and proper handling of small problems with stress, injury, anxiety, or depression will often stop them from becoming a crisis.

Providing expert knowledge for the journey to college is what I do in my college consulting practice. Helping young people become successful adults includes helping them remove obstacles as well as identify and utilize opportunities. For more information, please visit my website CelticCollegeConsultants.com. To schedule a consultation to discuss your situation and explore the ways I can help make your teens dreams come true, please email me at: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

 Dr. Grimes' full article:

Top Study Tips: The Secrets of Straight A students!

 by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

The school year is about to begin again (or has begun, for year round schools). Another year, another opportunity to learn and grow and become more fully alive.... or to get discouraged, fall behind, and grow in self-loathing. That might seem harsh but, it's the reality for many of our kids. Here are a few tips that will help the year be one of growth and joy, rather than stagnation and sadness.

1. Be honest with yourself.

If a certain isn't your strength, you probably dread having to take another class in it. This is particularly true for those who struggle with math or with reading. (Spoiler alert - I know successful, happy adults who share your struggles - one lovely friend in her 80s has always struggled with reading - what a blessing audio books and podcasts are to her!)

In order to do well in a subject that's hard for you, do what all the professionals do (whether they are Olympic athletes, your parents, or anyone else...) - GET HELP! Nowhere is it written that each of us must be wonderful at everything. We need to develop our natural skills and abilities, absolutely. So, in whatever area you are lacking strength, get help - tutors, homework groups, peer mentors, accountability partners, a strict study schedule (to force yourself to put in the time, even when it's not pleasant), etc. Do whatever it takes. This is what everyone does. I am not good at car maintenance. So, I have a tire place and a mechanic, and an oil change place... I'm also only able to handle very, very basic plumbing issues. I have an expert I call for that, too. 

Use your strengths to offset your weaknesses. One young man I know was not very good at book work/typical high school subjects. He has phenomenal people skills. He has gotten himself into a career and built a network of colleagues and friends with those people skills. He is a wonderful networker. He is someone to know - if you need any kind of help, he knows someone... and can tell which personality you'll mesh with the best. In high school, this might look like partnering with someone with opposite strengths. Here are a couple of examples: I'll help you with your French and you'll help me with my math. I'll drive you to school and you'll help me improve my reading or writing.

2. Be prepared

This is the Boy Scout motto but this wisdom is not reserved to them! Be prepared. Do the reading ahead of time. Take good notes. Prepare your own study guides (then compare them with the ones your teachers provide... and use those comparisons, along with your test experiences and results, to hone your study guide preparation skills. Some classes have chapter tests. Some have pop quizzes. Some have comprehensive exams (typically called AP tests!) covering the entire year's material. 

The syllabus is your friend. Most students don't bother to read them. That's a MISTAKE! A syllabus is a treasure map.... here's the path to learning a lot and getting a great grade in this class. The syllabus lets you know what the teacher's goals are for your learning. It provides a week by week outline of the flow of the course. It describes the testing plan (tests/papers/projects, etc.) and the grading scheme. Knowing when these will happen or are due, along with how they will be graded is invaluable information.

3. Control your Thoughts

All sorts of things happen every day that we have no control over. Wonderful surprises and tragic accidents happen. Sunny days and stormy days. Finding a new friend and losing a special person in your life. We can't do anything about these things, can we? Or can we?

Certainly, we can't control everything that happens in life. We do, however, have the freedom to choose how we will respond. THIS IS IMPORTANT! Choosing to find the good, the joy in life IS possible. Learn to take time to consider how you respond. Watch those who are cheerful and friendly and joyful.... listen to them respond to things. If possible, ask them to break down their thoughts as they handle challenges and difficulties. Then copy them. 

When you respond positively, your mood will be better and you'll have more energy for living your life, for your studies, for building strong relationships.

Katherine works with high school students, developing their leadership, sense of self, study skills, life and college goals, and the rest of the journey to college. To explore her services, please visit her website: Celtic College Consultants or email her: kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

What is the biggest difference between high school and college?

 

Dear teen,

 

In high school, you are told where to be, what to do. You are reminded, over and over, about big assignments, upcoming tests and trips, everything. The vast majority of every day is scripted. When to be places, what sorts of clothes are acceptable to wear, how to wear your hair, which shoes are cool, which clubs to join, sports to play, to be part of the "in crowd," or one of the" in crowds" if your school boasts more than one - maybe there are cool athletes, cool theatre geeks, and cool tech wizards in your world.

 

Then you apply to college, to the same colleges as the other kids you know, whether or not their favorite school is a good fit for you, whether you have a clue what you want to study or not. Just getting pushed along down a stream of expectations, hemmed in on every side.

 

Then, one day, after a summer of feeling lost, no longer in high school but not really anywhere else in life yet, one hot day in August (or September for a few of you), you arrive on campus with a car full of stuff and two parents who are acting weird, trying not to show that they are excited for you and terrified at the same time. Two parents who will miss you and who are also thrilled to see you start to fly out of the nest. Parents who fuss over your room and take you shopping for all the things you forgot or didn’t know you absolutely had to have for your teeny tiny little dorm room.

 

When they drive away, reality sets in. Life is completely different now. Somehow you figure out where to go to get food, ‘cause that’s really important. You float along into some orientation meetings. A few days in it hits you. Everything is different now.

 

Now you have to lead your own life.

 

No one will tell you when to awaken, whether to brush your teeth or put your clothes in the laundry bag/hamper thing or onto the floor under your bed. No one will bother you if you stay up really late, eat four helpings of ice cream instead of supper, or skip meals altogether.

 

Somehow, magically, you are expected to know how to run your own life. Ridiculous isn’t it? Even if you were homeschooled, you’ve been being told where to be and what to do and how to live your life every day, until now. Now you are at college. Now you are “on your own.” Those words sounded sweet, freeing, even captivating. Being on your own, making your own rules, doing your own thing.

 

FREEDOM!

 

This is the real test. It wasn’t the ACT or SAT or the crazy college application essays. It wasn’t the nail biting wait for admissions decisions, scholarship offers, financial packages.  This, now, is the test.

 

Who will you choose to be? How will you lead your own life. THAT is the question. THAT is what is different. Now that you are here, it’s ALL up to you. To register for classes, show up to class, do the reading, the problem sets, or not. To sleep or eat, have fun, make friends, or not. To get involved, be curious, stay in your room all the time, go off campus and wander, or not. EVERYTHING is up to you. Will you ask for help when you need it? Will you lie about your past, creating a perfect home life or parents with interesting histories? Will you be true to yourself? Now that’s a tough one. Who are you anyway? It’s time to sort that out. You don’t have to do things the way your parents did. You can try different ideas. You can do so many things. Too many, really. It’s incredibly difficult to sort out what to do.

 

Right, It’s time to LEAD YOURSELF.

 

“Wait a second, how am I supposed to do that????” you say, panicked.

 

Right, I hear you. No one taught us how to do this either. Back in the day, when we parents went to college, we also had to sort this out. We had some advantages; you have different ones.

 

While in high school, there are a number of ways you can begin to develop the attitudes and skills that will help you successfully navigate this transition.

 

“Ummm, what do you mean successfully?” Well, unfortunately, many college freshmen go home during first semester or home for Christmas and never return. So, yeah, not everyone is successful when they go off to college. SHOCKER, I know. No one ever tells you this!

 

Here are my top tips to get yourself ready for college:

 

1.     Get a job. You’ll learn to get yourself somewhere on a schedule different from the rest of your family, just like college kids who all have different schedules and each must manage his or her own.

2.     Figure out why YOU want to go to college. What’s the point? What do you want to get out of it? Why do you want that? These might sound flippant, but they aren’t. Take serious time to think about these things. Dig deep. Get real answers, the answers that resonate in your core.

3.     Start to think about who you are and who you want to be. When you get to campus, you get to choose which of your strengths to highlight, which of your weaknesses to work on improving, etc. You get to choose to do things the way your parents taught you to do them, or a new way. You will choose to be a woman or man of good character, or not, you get to choose….

4.     Explore your interests now. Academic, social, career possibilities, hobbies. If you’re interested in something, get curious, start to explore. Read up on the topic, watch videos, try things out, join groups, take classes in and out of school, etc. Once you find yourself deeply interested in something, then start to research what sorts of careers there are in that area. Have a solid, realistic idea of your interests and career prospects before you get to campus. That will help guide you once you get there and have to sort through myriad options.

5.     Learn how to advocate for yourself. Check in to doctor’s appointments by yourself. Schedule your own appointments. Organize your tasks and projects and household responsibilities. Manage your time. Ask for help every time you need it. Learn how to do everything your mom does for you. Cook. Clean. Organize. Schedule. Launder. Prepare. Clean up after. Communicate. Coordinate people’s tasks. Set limits. Get help with the ones you struggle with.

6.     Develop solid self-care habits and routines. Get enough sleep and exercise and eat well, because you want to do that for yourself in order to feel good and be able to be active, etc. College will give you the opportunity to gain or lose lots of weight, be fit, or not, pull all nighters doing subpar work, or not, etc. Good self-care habits will help you succeed on campus. Good self-care habits will help you make the most of the opportunities you’ll find on campus.

College is a gold mine. There are a zillion chances to meet people, learn things, try new things, go places, explore concepts, …. Be ready to make the most of this special time in your life.

 

Sound like a tall order? Need some help working your way through all that? No problem. I’ve been walking teens through all of this for years and years. I know you’re special. I look forward to helping you discover that and become amazing. Have your parents drop me an email and set up a consultation (pretty fancy word for a zoom meeting!) Let’s talk! I'm Katherine O’Brien (KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com) Want to know more about me and what I do? Check out my website: CelticCollegeConsultants.com