How to Choose what to do after high school…

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD candidate, Certified College Planning Specialist kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

 

 

Again and again teens report feeling overwhelmed about choosing a college major. Many also are stressed out about deciding whether or not to even go to college.

This is exactly what I do in the early phase of my College Success Program. I use a data driven, step by step process to help teens determine which career aligns with who they are, with their individual gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, personality, values, etc. Once that is identified, we proceed to explore  programs, majors, and schools (or other paths) to get them to their goal.

 

Here are a few of the key questions

 

Who are you?

What are your strengths?

What are your weaknesses?

What are your interests?

What are your values (moral, social, ecological, etc.)

What are your dreams?

How do you best learn? – What method(s)? What setting(s)?

 

Where do you want to go in life?

What kind of work?

What kind of Peers?

What kind of person do you want to become?

What kind of person do you want to marry?

Where do you want to live? (What kind of locale? Where in the country?)

 

What are the paths to get from where you are to there?

What are the requirements? Degrees, certifications, internships, etc.

What kind of professional network do you need to build?

What kinds of friends do you need to cultivate?

What sort of lifestyle will help you get there?

Which of your weaknesses do you need to overcome in order to be successful?

How can you leverage your strengths to do that?

 

Which of those is the best way for you to get there?

What environment do you need in order to thrive? – living circumstances, learning circumstances, social environment…

 

What do you need to do to get from here to there?

College?

Apprenticeship?

Trade School?

Certificate program?

On the job training?

 

So, how is a 17 year old supposed to decide? Is it even possible?

 

To be honest, most don’t do very well at this. The introspection required is difficult. Having a mentor and accountability partner to lead you through this exploration is essential to this process. Most never do it… and fumble around in college, changing majors, dropping out, or working various jobs after high school, sort of figuring things out by a somewhat random process of elimination. Both of those are inefficient and painful. Learning by discovering what makes you miserable is pretty brutal. Some of us can project, can imagine a future in a certain circumstance and decide whether heading that direction would be good for us. Most of us can’t do that. We have no idea how to imagine something we have not experienced.

 

ALL of my College Success Program students start with this process. Only after we have these answers, do  I guide them to programs, majors, and colleges (or trade schools!) that offer what they are looking for. Email me to set up an initial meeting to discuss your situation and how the College Success Program can help your teen on his or her journey to college. KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

Drug Use & Teens, It's Not What it Used to Be

 by Katherine O'Brien, ThD candidate & Certified College Planning Specialist

Over 11% of the 7.7M drug related ER visits were made by 18-25 year olds. This age group also has the highest rate of cannibus related ER visits. (per a 2023 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration report)

A recent article by Dr. Jill Grimes, a college health specialist, pointed out a number of blind spots many of us have about drugs, particularly with regard to our teens and drugs.

1. "Good" kids won't use drugs - especially my child, who is smart, responsible, successful, and has a "good head" on his or her shoulders. Unfortunately, you might still get a call about your young adult child OD'ing, hallucinating, becoming paranoid, depressed, or having a substance-related car accident.

 

2. My kid would never get near a drug dealer - a seedy person in a dark alley somewhere. Life has changed. Lots of undergrads are dealing drugs, even though they don't realize they are drug dealers. Here's what it looks like today: a dorm friend passing along some pills to an overtired classmate, someone sharing prescription ADHD meds to help a friend focus.... this is often what drug dealers look like today. Maybe they are just sharing a THC laced gummy candy or brownie with a friend with social anxiety.

Eating a brownie, or other edible, isn't lighting up a cigarette or joint, right? Even our good, rule abiding kids are getting tripped up by the innocent looking ways drugs are offered and used all around their campus.

3. Lots of parents and/or our friends smoked a little weed in college, and we turned out ok. So, we think a little experimentation won't hurt our kids, since it didn't hurt us.

With the legalization of marijuana (yes, I'm dating myself by even using that term) or cannabis, use has become very very common. One 2023 study Dr. Grimes mentioned was a couple of recent studies of 14,000+ students on more than a dozen Texas college campuses, where recreational cannabis is illegal) that found that almost 40% of them had used it - a whopping 26% had used it on their Texas college campus!! 

Today's weed is stronger than what was available in the '80s and '90s. The concentration of THS was less than 1.5% in 1980 to almost 4% in 1994, to an average of OVER 16% in 2022, per the National Institute of Drug Abuse. A Colorado report stated that the marijuana flowers produced there now have an average of 19.2% THC per gram and the hash and oils, concentrated products, average over 65% per gram  - vaping cartridges average nearly 80% per gram. Today's weed is FAR more addictive.

4. Self-medicating has become pretty common. Our young adults are more stressed and less resilient than previous generations has been. Many kids have Xanax or Adderall prescriptions. That familiarity makes others think it's safe to buy a prescription med from a friend. And that friend may not realize that he or she is actually a drug dealer. Since they are seeing such free use of prescribed pills, some conclude that all pills are safe, but they aren't.

Our kids are facing more subtle and complex challenges than we did in this arena. It's not just happening at parties. It's not limited to the fringe kids. It's happening all over campus and in the dorms, in ways and forms that seem harmless or safe. Add the increased potency to that mix and it's no wonder so many are becoming addicted and/or finding themselves in the ER or having a related crisis.

5. Parents CAN prepare their kids for the reality of drugs on campus.

Add Narcan to their first aid kit and teach them how and when to administer it. Narcan is helpful for stopping the ill effects of an opioid or fentanyl overdose. You can buy it without a prescription but will likely need to ask the pharmacist for it since most keep it behind the counter rather than on the shelves.

Teach your student/teen about the various ways drugs are showing up on campus these days and encourage them to visit the health clinic or other medical facility on campus with they experience a serious inability to focus or concentration, insomnia, or test or social anxiety. Proper care and treatment can help significantly.

Encourage them to seek help BEFORE things become a crisis. Nipping a problem in the bud is so much better than having to deal with the mess afterwards. Careful and proper handling of small problems with stress, injury, anxiety, or depression will often stop them from becoming a crisis.

Providing expert knowledge for the journey to college is what I do in my college consulting practice. Helping young people become successful adults includes helping them remove obstacles as well as identify and utilize opportunities. For more information, please visit my website CelticCollegeConsultants.com. To schedule a consultation to discuss your situation and explore the ways I can help make your teens dreams come true, please email me at: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

 Dr. Grimes' full article:

Top Study Tips: The Secrets of Straight A students!

 by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

The school year is about to begin again (or has begun, for year round schools). Another year, another opportunity to learn and grow and become more fully alive.... or to get discouraged, fall behind, and grow in self-loathing. That might seem harsh but, it's the reality for many of our kids. Here are a few tips that will help the year be one of growth and joy, rather than stagnation and sadness.

1. Be honest with yourself.

If a certain isn't your strength, you probably dread having to take another class in it. This is particularly true for those who struggle with math or with reading. (Spoiler alert - I know successful, happy adults who share your struggles - one lovely friend in her 80s has always struggled with reading - what a blessing audio books and podcasts are to her!)

In order to do well in a subject that's hard for you, do what all the professionals do (whether they are Olympic athletes, your parents, or anyone else...) - GET HELP! Nowhere is it written that each of us must be wonderful at everything. We need to develop our natural skills and abilities, absolutely. So, in whatever area you are lacking strength, get help - tutors, homework groups, peer mentors, accountability partners, a strict study schedule (to force yourself to put in the time, even when it's not pleasant), etc. Do whatever it takes. This is what everyone does. I am not good at car maintenance. So, I have a tire place and a mechanic, and an oil change place... I'm also only able to handle very, very basic plumbing issues. I have an expert I call for that, too. 

Use your strengths to offset your weaknesses. One young man I know was not very good at book work/typical high school subjects. He has phenomenal people skills. He has gotten himself into a career and built a network of colleagues and friends with those people skills. He is a wonderful networker. He is someone to know - if you need any kind of help, he knows someone... and can tell which personality you'll mesh with the best. In high school, this might look like partnering with someone with opposite strengths. Here are a couple of examples: I'll help you with your French and you'll help me with my math. I'll drive you to school and you'll help me improve my reading or writing.

2. Be prepared

This is the Boy Scout motto but this wisdom is not reserved to them! Be prepared. Do the reading ahead of time. Take good notes. Prepare your own study guides (then compare them with the ones your teachers provide... and use those comparisons, along with your test experiences and results, to hone your study guide preparation skills. Some classes have chapter tests. Some have pop quizzes. Some have comprehensive exams (typically called AP tests!) covering the entire year's material. 

The syllabus is your friend. Most students don't bother to read them. That's a MISTAKE! A syllabus is a treasure map.... here's the path to learning a lot and getting a great grade in this class. The syllabus lets you know what the teacher's goals are for your learning. It provides a week by week outline of the flow of the course. It describes the testing plan (tests/papers/projects, etc.) and the grading scheme. Knowing when these will happen or are due, along with how they will be graded is invaluable information.

3. Control your Thoughts

All sorts of things happen every day that we have no control over. Wonderful surprises and tragic accidents happen. Sunny days and stormy days. Finding a new friend and losing a special person in your life. We can't do anything about these things, can we? Or can we?

Certainly, we can't control everything that happens in life. We do, however, have the freedom to choose how we will respond. THIS IS IMPORTANT! Choosing to find the good, the joy in life IS possible. Learn to take time to consider how you respond. Watch those who are cheerful and friendly and joyful.... listen to them respond to things. If possible, ask them to break down their thoughts as they handle challenges and difficulties. Then copy them. 

When you respond positively, your mood will be better and you'll have more energy for living your life, for your studies, for building strong relationships.

Katherine works with high school students, developing their leadership, sense of self, study skills, life and college goals, and the rest of the journey to college. To explore her services, please visit her website: Celtic College Consultants or email her: kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

What is the biggest difference between high school and college?

 

Dear teen,

 

In high school, you are told where to be, what to do. You are reminded, over and over, about big assignments, upcoming tests and trips, everything. The vast majority of every day is scripted. When to be places, what sorts of clothes are acceptable to wear, how to wear your hair, which shoes are cool, which clubs to join, sports to play, to be part of the "in crowd," or one of the" in crowds" if your school boasts more than one - maybe there are cool athletes, cool theatre geeks, and cool tech wizards in your world.

 

Then you apply to college, to the same colleges as the other kids you know, whether or not their favorite school is a good fit for you, whether you have a clue what you want to study or not. Just getting pushed along down a stream of expectations, hemmed in on every side.

 

Then, one day, after a summer of feeling lost, no longer in high school but not really anywhere else in life yet, one hot day in August (or September for a few of you), you arrive on campus with a car full of stuff and two parents who are acting weird, trying not to show that they are excited for you and terrified at the same time. Two parents who will miss you and who are also thrilled to see you start to fly out of the nest. Parents who fuss over your room and take you shopping for all the things you forgot or didn’t know you absolutely had to have for your teeny tiny little dorm room.

 

When they drive away, reality sets in. Life is completely different now. Somehow you figure out where to go to get food, ‘cause that’s really important. You float along into some orientation meetings. A few days in it hits you. Everything is different now.

 

Now you have to lead your own life.

 

No one will tell you when to awaken, whether to brush your teeth or put your clothes in the laundry bag/hamper thing or onto the floor under your bed. No one will bother you if you stay up really late, eat four helpings of ice cream instead of supper, or skip meals altogether.

 

Somehow, magically, you are expected to know how to run your own life. Ridiculous isn’t it? Even if you were homeschooled, you’ve been being told where to be and what to do and how to live your life every day, until now. Now you are at college. Now you are “on your own.” Those words sounded sweet, freeing, even captivating. Being on your own, making your own rules, doing your own thing.

 

FREEDOM!

 

This is the real test. It wasn’t the ACT or SAT or the crazy college application essays. It wasn’t the nail biting wait for admissions decisions, scholarship offers, financial packages.  This, now, is the test.

 

Who will you choose to be? How will you lead your own life. THAT is the question. THAT is what is different. Now that you are here, it’s ALL up to you. To register for classes, show up to class, do the reading, the problem sets, or not. To sleep or eat, have fun, make friends, or not. To get involved, be curious, stay in your room all the time, go off campus and wander, or not. EVERYTHING is up to you. Will you ask for help when you need it? Will you lie about your past, creating a perfect home life or parents with interesting histories? Will you be true to yourself? Now that’s a tough one. Who are you anyway? It’s time to sort that out. You don’t have to do things the way your parents did. You can try different ideas. You can do so many things. Too many, really. It’s incredibly difficult to sort out what to do.

 

Right, It’s time to LEAD YOURSELF.

 

“Wait a second, how am I supposed to do that????” you say, panicked.

 

Right, I hear you. No one taught us how to do this either. Back in the day, when we parents went to college, we also had to sort this out. We had some advantages; you have different ones.

 

While in high school, there are a number of ways you can begin to develop the attitudes and skills that will help you successfully navigate this transition.

 

“Ummm, what do you mean successfully?” Well, unfortunately, many college freshmen go home during first semester or home for Christmas and never return. So, yeah, not everyone is successful when they go off to college. SHOCKER, I know. No one ever tells you this!

 

Here are my top tips to get yourself ready for college:

 

1.     Get a job. You’ll learn to get yourself somewhere on a schedule different from the rest of your family, just like college kids who all have different schedules and each must manage his or her own.

2.     Figure out why YOU want to go to college. What’s the point? What do you want to get out of it? Why do you want that? These might sound flippant, but they aren’t. Take serious time to think about these things. Dig deep. Get real answers, the answers that resonate in your core.

3.     Start to think about who you are and who you want to be. When you get to campus, you get to choose which of your strengths to highlight, which of your weaknesses to work on improving, etc. You get to choose to do things the way your parents taught you to do them, or a new way. You will choose to be a woman or man of good character, or not, you get to choose….

4.     Explore your interests now. Academic, social, career possibilities, hobbies. If you’re interested in something, get curious, start to explore. Read up on the topic, watch videos, try things out, join groups, take classes in and out of school, etc. Once you find yourself deeply interested in something, then start to research what sorts of careers there are in that area. Have a solid, realistic idea of your interests and career prospects before you get to campus. That will help guide you once you get there and have to sort through myriad options.

5.     Learn how to advocate for yourself. Check in to doctor’s appointments by yourself. Schedule your own appointments. Organize your tasks and projects and household responsibilities. Manage your time. Ask for help every time you need it. Learn how to do everything your mom does for you. Cook. Clean. Organize. Schedule. Launder. Prepare. Clean up after. Communicate. Coordinate people’s tasks. Set limits. Get help with the ones you struggle with.

6.     Develop solid self-care habits and routines. Get enough sleep and exercise and eat well, because you want to do that for yourself in order to feel good and be able to be active, etc. College will give you the opportunity to gain or lose lots of weight, be fit, or not, pull all nighters doing subpar work, or not, etc. Good self-care habits will help you succeed on campus. Good self-care habits will help you make the most of the opportunities you’ll find on campus.

College is a gold mine. There are a zillion chances to meet people, learn things, try new things, go places, explore concepts, …. Be ready to make the most of this special time in your life.

 

Sound like a tall order? Need some help working your way through all that? No problem. I’ve been walking teens through all of this for years and years. I know you’re special. I look forward to helping you discover that and become amazing. Have your parents drop me an email and set up a consultation (pretty fancy word for a zoom meeting!) Let’s talk! I'm Katherine O’Brien (KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com) Want to know more about me and what I do? Check out my website: CelticCollegeConsultants.com 

What Kind of Person Does Your Teen Want to Be?

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

Character is not a word heard around college admissions very often. How can I impress admissions? Is the top question in many students’ minds. Sadly, it is the wrong question. This is life, not a game. What matters is becoming a man or woman of good character, with defined goals, humility, and strength, strength that comes from reliance on God’s strength.

"Do not desire to be other than you are, but desire to be very well what you are."
- St. Francis de Sales

St. Francis de Sales was a bishop with a particular gift for guiding lay people on their journeys to holiness, to intimacy with God. Part of that journey is becoming yourself.

Teens are just starting this journey. This period of our lives, from 13-23, is so formative. NOW is the time to set goals, to define our character, to lay the foundation to become fully alive. It takes time to come to know one’s strengths and traits. As I work with underclassmen, this is my focus, to help each come to know themselves well, and to begin to take steps to develop their strengths, overcome their weaknesses, explore their interests, and come alive as the particular person he or she is.

"Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character." Heraclitus of Ephesus

For a man who lived over 3,000 years ago, Heraclitus certainly hit the nail on the head. Neuroscientific research has confirmed this. The more we repeat thoughts and patterns, the more deeply they are ingrained in our brains. This is also true of our thoughts. What we hear, listen to, repeat to ourselves over and over and over is what we believe. That's why changing one's mind, creating a new habit, learning something new all take time and consistent effort. We are creating new pathways in our brains.

Here's an example of how this can be done. The Boy Scouts does an amazing, powerful thing and most Scouts have no idea that it's happening. Every single Scout learns the Scout law at the beginning of his or her Scouting journey.

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

The Scout law is repeated at the beginning of every single meeting. Repetition doesn’t make the change happen. It does, however, plant the seeds, that these are traits worth having, that each Scout is there to develop.

There are many ways to inculcate character in teens. It’s worth being intentional about. I am, and have been for my entire career as a college consultant, with every single teen I’ve worked with. To learn more about my College Success Program, click here. To inquire about having me work with your teen, email me and request a consultation. KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you. 
- Saint Thomas Aquinas

A Fervent Catholic’s Perspective on Higher Education: Hope on the Horizon

 

by Katherine O'Brien ThD Cand., Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder of Celtic College Consultants

As a Catholic and a college consultant, I have a particular vantage point. I am writing today to tell you that there is hope on the horizon.

 

The Church is always dying and birthing. New orders and ministries, dioceses, parishes, insights, and ways of following Christ are being born, founded, and beginning their journeys. Some will last for centuries, others will bring light for a shorter time. Other orders, ministries, etc. are dying, closing, ending. This has always been the case. Just as flowers in a garden come up and bloom at different times of the year, sharing their beauty and grandeur for a time, before they fade, recede, and die, making way for a new flower to bloom, so it is in the Church.

 

While many have lamented the decline of the number of religious brothers and sisters, the closing of various convents and monasteries, new orders, institutes, and ways of living a consecrated life have sprung up, too.

 

In the college world, the same is happening. Since the Land o’ Lakes conference in 1970, when Catholic Colleges basically declared themselves independent of the Church and able to exercise freedom as universities, the tenor of Catholic-run institutions of higher education has shifted. Some are historically Catholic, that is founded by Catholics, possibly retaining a Catholic name, but no longer having a mission in line with the Church’s. These schools don’t require courses in Catholic philosophy or theology; you can take intro to Buddhism for your religion requirement, for example. While ideologically distant from their initial missions, these schools tend to be very strong with respect to social justice and community service efforts, which is certainly laudable.

 

Other schools are more mixed. They have some Catholic course offerings and some Catholic sensibilities will be evident on their campuses. The Blessed Sacrament might be reserved in several chapels, for example. However, their focus, their identity, their emphasis as a college is less distinctively Catholic. These are the schools that non-Catholic students might be leery of, thinking they will be put off by the Catholicity of the place. These students are relieved when they find that their fears are unwarranted; other than a few vestiges here and there, they will not encounter Catholicism in any forceful way.

 

A third category of colleges is the robustly Catholic schools. These schools pride themselves on their efforts to incorporate Catholicism in all of their courses, their dorm and student life policies, in the way they handle admissions and financial aid, etc. Often their daily Masses are chock full of students.

 

As promised at the beginning, there are some new shoots, new flowerings happening in higher education. First, among the historically Catholic and less than robustly Catholic colleges and universities, the same sort of struggles and shifts happening overall in higher education are evident. Some of these schools will close; others will merge in an effort to stay open. Some have found a niche and seem to be doing okay. A few, particularly those that have more selective admissions policies and a higher profile, with top rankings, for example, continue to grow and develop new programs and offerings, build new buildings, and the like. Amongst the robustly Catholic schools, there is slow, steady growth, as well as some exciting new developments. While Magdalene College has finally shuttered, John Paul the Great Catholic University is thriving. These newer colleges have been or will be joined by some brand new schools. College of St. Joseph the Worker, in Steubenville, has just begun. San Damiano College in Springfield, IL and Rosary College in Greenville, SC will open within the next year. St. Joseph’s and San Damiano are thrilling new offerings as they both offer a blended program: Great Books AND trades (electrician, carpenter, plumber, welder, etc.) What a boon to us all! They will produce some very well formed young men (and a few women) who will anchor families and communities. Rosary College is a two-year liberal arts college in the Benedictine Catholic tradition. Their program is accessible online and in person. All three of these are lay led initiatives

 

On the graduate level, two other lay led institutions must be mentioned. The Augustine Institute is in the process of moving to the St. Louis area where it will be poised to expand. In addition to their master’s degrees in Catholic theology, pastoral theology, biblical studies, and Catholic education, they plan to add a master’s in evangelization and a doctorate in theology. With their new facilities, the Institute will also be able to offer retreats and conferences. With over 500 students, the Augustine Institute is the largest graduate school in Catholic theology in the US. They also offer certificates for Catholic educators. Pontifex University, a completely online school, offers master’s degrees in sacred arts, Catholic theology, and education in Catholic schools and a doctorate of theological studies. They also offer several certificate programs. They have over 100 students in their doctoral program (including myself). They also offer a number of certificate programs.

 

These five lay led colleges and universities are signs of hope as are the 300 or so strong Catholic campus ministries. I addition to them, many of the robustly Catholic schools are growing, increasing their student body size and the majors and programs they offer, particularly in engineering fields.

 

Lastly, I will mention the wonderful Catholic campus ministries available on many non-Catholic campuses. Some, like St. John’s at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, have a Catholic dormitory as well as a robust campus ministry program. Indeed, there is a great deal to rejoice about in the college world. 

Information about all the colleges and universities with strong Catholic communities on campus (both robustly Catholic colleges and non-Catholic schools), get a copy of Every Catholic's Guide to College, available here on Amazon. The guide includes an index by major, as well as admissions, aid, campus ministry, and majors and program information for over 300 colleges and universities that met certain criteria!

Campus Readiness Quiz

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Cand., Certified College Planning Specialist

Founder, Celtic College Consultants

 Helping teens be ready for success on campus entails more than helping them develop good study skills and the ability to perform well on tests, oral presentations, and group projects. Numerous personal responsibility skills, interpersonal communication skills, and practical skills are also important as students adapt to independent life on a college campus. This quiz helps teens evaluate their strengths and identify their weaknesses, so they can target their efforts as they finish their preparations to move onto campus.

As I work with teens, I help  them develop these skills. To meet and discuss your teen's college readiness, email me at KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com and request a consultation.

Personal/life skills

Can you regulate your emotions? Calm yourself when you are afraid or irritated? Settle yourself when you are angry or disappointed? Motivate yourself when you feel discouraged?

Can you manage your time well? Exercise self-discipline regarding eating, sleeping, studying, working, having fun, relaxing?

Can you organize large, complex tasks?

Can you resist temptation?

Can you navigate public transportation, uber/lyft, airports, etc. to get where you need to go to get toiletries, medicine, home to visit, etc.?

Can you manage your health needs? Eat well, take prescribed medicines, handle over the counter medical needs like colds, allergies, and the flu? Exercise adequately and regularly? Take meditation and prayer breaks to lower stress?

Can you motivate yourself when you don't "feel like" doing what needs to be done?

Can you adequately reward yourself for successes?

Do you know when to ask for help?

Are you able to manage a minor emergency?

Do you have a stable, effective night routine so you can get to sleep? Do you have the discipline needed to get yourself to bed in time to get enough sleep to be ready for the next day?

Do you have a plan for handling a major crisis, especially if you attend a college more than a couple of hours away from home or your parents travel, have other responsibilities, etc.?

Can you limit texting, etc. adequately in order to be present where you are, able to meet and interact with those near you, not just those not near you?

Interpersonal skills

Can you handle interpersonal conflict well? Compromise or negotiate respectfully in order to settle a dispute? 

Can you set boundaries with people, setting the stage for being treated with respect?

Can you say you are sorry when you need to? Make necessary amends? Let go of grievances?

Do you have a plan to regularly communicate with your parents so they aren't dropping by or calling and texting constantly and so you don't get too lonesome?

Can you advocate for yourself as needed? 

Are you welcoming? Can you make friends?

Practical skills

Can you do laundry? Treat common stains? Take care of specialty garments and fabrics?

Can you budget your money? Track your expenditures and your bank balance(s)? Can you say no to impulse spending opportunities, be they pizza, events, or online specials?

Do you know how to present yourself? In an interview? Informally with a professor in order to give a good impression, gain trust, and build a mentor/mentee relationship? 

Can you ask for help when you need it? Whether a lost student ID or key (contact security) or mental health crisis (for yourself or another), a medical need of some sort (when to go to the clinic, urgent care, or the ER), go to the writing center, seek out a tutor, get directions, or some other need?

Can you keep your things organized and your room tidy? Can you clean a bathroom? a kitchen?

Can you decorate your living space in a way that invites people to feel welcome, and yourself to rest and relax? Your room is your oasis on campus, can you utilize it well?

Do you know where to find the library, counseling center, health clinic, gym, professors' offices, classrooms, printing center(s), tutoring center(s), writing center(s) on campus? 

If you need support services, can you self-advocate to arrange for them?

Do you read your emails regularly? Colleges communicate important information yet many students don't read it. This can cause you from not being registered for classes, not getting credit for your courses, getting kicked off campus for non-payment, and many other headaches.

Do you know what a bursar's office is? It's the place you pay for your tuition and other bills from the college/university.

Do you know what the registrar's office is?

What is a syllabus? Why does it matter?

What are the dining options on your campus and how do you plan to use your flex dollars so you don't run out nor go hungry?

Where can you go on campus to get some time alone, some time to recharge, rest your mind, de-stress?

What does an academic advisor do? 

Why should you go to the career office starting your freshman year? What help can they offer you?

Where do you get specialty advising (like double major, honors college, or pre-professional) on your campus?

Do you have reading and assignments due before your first class meets? How do you find out?

What do you do if your laptop breaks?

Where do you go to get medicine? Is there a pharmacy on campus or nearby?

What are the best places to study on your campus?

How do you learn whether your paper is up to college standards?

How and when do you need to re-file a FAFSA or other aid application forms for subsequent years of college?

How can campus security help you? Are you wise enough to call for a night security escort when needed?