What is the biggest difference between high school and college?

 

Dear teen,

 

In high school, you are told where to be, what to do. You are reminded, over and over, about big assignments, upcoming tests and trips, everything. The vast majority of every day is scripted. When to be places, what sorts of clothes are acceptable to wear, how to wear your hair, which shoes are cool, which clubs to join, sports to play, to be part of the "in crowd," or one of the" in crowds" if your school boasts more than one - maybe there are cool athletes, cool theatre geeks, and cool tech wizards in your world.

 

Then you apply to college, to the same colleges as the other kids you know, whether or not their favorite school is a good fit for you, whether you have a clue what you want to study or not. Just getting pushed along down a stream of expectations, hemmed in on every side.

 

Then, one day, after a summer of feeling lost, no longer in high school but not really anywhere else in life yet, one hot day in August (or September for a few of you), you arrive on campus with a car full of stuff and two parents who are acting weird, trying not to show that they are excited for you and terrified at the same time. Two parents who will miss you and who are also thrilled to see you start to fly out of the nest. Parents who fuss over your room and take you shopping for all the things you forgot or didn’t know you absolutely had to have for your teeny tiny little dorm room.

 

When they drive away, reality sets in. Life is completely different now. Somehow you figure out where to go to get food, ‘cause that’s really important. You float along into some orientation meetings. A few days in it hits you. Everything is different now.

 

Now you have to lead your own life.

 

No one will tell you when to awaken, whether to brush your teeth or put your clothes in the laundry bag/hamper thing or onto the floor under your bed. No one will bother you if you stay up really late, eat four helpings of ice cream instead of supper, or skip meals altogether.

 

Somehow, magically, you are expected to know how to run your own life. Ridiculous isn’t it? Even if you were homeschooled, you’ve been being told where to be and what to do and how to live your life every day, until now. Now you are at college. Now you are “on your own.” Those words sounded sweet, freeing, even captivating. Being on your own, making your own rules, doing your own thing.

 

FREEDOM!

 

This is the real test. It wasn’t the ACT or SAT or the crazy college application essays. It wasn’t the nail biting wait for admissions decisions, scholarship offers, financial packages.  This, now, is the test.

 

Who will you choose to be? How will you lead your own life. THAT is the question. THAT is what is different. Now that you are here, it’s ALL up to you. To register for classes, show up to class, do the reading, the problem sets, or not. To sleep or eat, have fun, make friends, or not. To get involved, be curious, stay in your room all the time, go off campus and wander, or not. EVERYTHING is up to you. Will you ask for help when you need it? Will you lie about your past, creating a perfect home life or parents with interesting histories? Will you be true to yourself? Now that’s a tough one. Who are you anyway? It’s time to sort that out. You don’t have to do things the way your parents did. You can try different ideas. You can do so many things. Too many, really. It’s incredibly difficult to sort out what to do.

 

Right, It’s time to LEAD YOURSELF.

 

“Wait a second, how am I supposed to do that????” you say, panicked.

 

Right, I hear you. No one taught us how to do this either. Back in the day, when we parents went to college, we also had to sort this out. We had some advantages; you have different ones.

 

While in high school, there are a number of ways you can begin to develop the attitudes and skills that will help you successfully navigate this transition.

 

“Ummm, what do you mean successfully?” Well, unfortunately, many college freshmen go home during first semester or home for Christmas and never return. So, yeah, not everyone is successful when they go off to college. SHOCKER, I know. No one ever tells you this!

 

Here are my top tips to get yourself ready for college:

 

1.     Get a job. You’ll learn to get yourself somewhere on a schedule different from the rest of your family, just like college kids who all have different schedules and each must manage his or her own.

2.     Figure out why YOU want to go to college. What’s the point? What do you want to get out of it? Why do you want that? These might sound flippant, but they aren’t. Take serious time to think about these things. Dig deep. Get real answers, the answers that resonate in your core.

3.     Start to think about who you are and who you want to be. When you get to campus, you get to choose which of your strengths to highlight, which of your weaknesses to work on improving, etc. You get to choose to do things the way your parents taught you to do them, or a new way. You will choose to be a woman or man of good character, or not, you get to choose….

4.     Explore your interests now. Academic, social, career possibilities, hobbies. If you’re interested in something, get curious, start to explore. Read up on the topic, watch videos, try things out, join groups, take classes in and out of school, etc. Once you find yourself deeply interested in something, then start to research what sorts of careers there are in that area. Have a solid, realistic idea of your interests and career prospects before you get to campus. That will help guide you once you get there and have to sort through myriad options.

5.     Learn how to advocate for yourself. Check in to doctor’s appointments by yourself. Schedule your own appointments. Organize your tasks and projects and household responsibilities. Manage your time. Ask for help every time you need it. Learn how to do everything your mom does for you. Cook. Clean. Organize. Schedule. Launder. Prepare. Clean up after. Communicate. Coordinate people’s tasks. Set limits. Get help with the ones you struggle with.

6.     Develop solid self-care habits and routines. Get enough sleep and exercise and eat well, because you want to do that for yourself in order to feel good and be able to be active, etc. College will give you the opportunity to gain or lose lots of weight, be fit, or not, pull all nighters doing subpar work, or not, etc. Good self-care habits will help you succeed on campus. Good self-care habits will help you make the most of the opportunities you’ll find on campus.

College is a gold mine. There are a zillion chances to meet people, learn things, try new things, go places, explore concepts, …. Be ready to make the most of this special time in your life.

 

Sound like a tall order? Need some help working your way through all that? No problem. I’ve been walking teens through all of this for years and years. I know you’re special. I look forward to helping you discover that and become amazing. Have your parents drop me an email and set up a consultation (pretty fancy word for a zoom meeting!) Let’s talk! I'm Katherine O’Brien (KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com) Want to know more about me and what I do? Check out my website: CelticCollegeConsultants.com 

What Kind of Person Does Your Teen Want to Be?

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

Character is not a word heard around college admissions very often. How can I impress admissions? Is the top question in many students’ minds. Sadly, it is the wrong question. This is life, not a game. What matters is becoming a man or woman of good character, with defined goals, humility, and strength, strength that comes from reliance on God’s strength.

"Do not desire to be other than you are, but desire to be very well what you are."
- St. Francis de Sales

St. Francis de Sales was a bishop with a particular gift for guiding lay people on their journeys to holiness, to intimacy with God. Part of that journey is becoming yourself.

Teens are just starting this journey. This period of our lives, from 13-23, is so formative. NOW is the time to set goals, to define our character, to lay the foundation to become fully alive. It takes time to come to know one’s strengths and traits. As I work with underclassmen, this is my focus, to help each come to know themselves well, and to begin to take steps to develop their strengths, overcome their weaknesses, explore their interests, and come alive as the particular person he or she is.

"Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character." Heraclitus of Ephesus

For a man who lived over 3,000 years ago, Heraclitus certainly hit the nail on the head. Neuroscientific research has confirmed this. The more we repeat thoughts and patterns, the more deeply they are ingrained in our brains. This is also true of our thoughts. What we hear, listen to, repeat to ourselves over and over and over is what we believe. That's why changing one's mind, creating a new habit, learning something new all take time and consistent effort. We are creating new pathways in our brains.

Here's an example of how this can be done. The Boy Scouts does an amazing, powerful thing and most Scouts have no idea that it's happening. Every single Scout learns the Scout law at the beginning of his or her Scouting journey.

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

The Scout law is repeated at the beginning of every single meeting. Repetition doesn’t make the change happen. It does, however, plant the seeds, that these are traits worth having, that each Scout is there to develop.

There are many ways to inculcate character in teens. It’s worth being intentional about. I am, and have been for my entire career as a college consultant, with every single teen I’ve worked with. To learn more about my College Success Program, click here. To inquire about having me work with your teen, email me and request a consultation. KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you. 
- Saint Thomas Aquinas

A Fervent Catholic’s Perspective on Higher Education: Hope on the Horizon

 

by Katherine O'Brien ThD Cand., Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder of Celtic College Consultants

As a Catholic and a college consultant, I have a particular vantage point. I am writing today to tell you that there is hope on the horizon.

 

The Church is always dying and birthing. New orders and ministries, dioceses, parishes, insights, and ways of following Christ are being born, founded, and beginning their journeys. Some will last for centuries, others will bring light for a shorter time. Other orders, ministries, etc. are dying, closing, ending. This has always been the case. Just as flowers in a garden come up and bloom at different times of the year, sharing their beauty and grandeur for a time, before they fade, recede, and die, making way for a new flower to bloom, so it is in the Church.

 

While many have lamented the decline of the number of religious brothers and sisters, the closing of various convents and monasteries, new orders, institutes, and ways of living a consecrated life have sprung up, too.

 

In the college world, the same is happening. Since the Land o’ Lakes conference in 1970, when Catholic Colleges basically declared themselves independent of the Church and able to exercise freedom as universities, the tenor of Catholic-run institutions of higher education has shifted. Some are historically Catholic, that is founded by Catholics, possibly retaining a Catholic name, but no longer having a mission in line with the Church’s. These schools don’t require courses in Catholic philosophy or theology; you can take intro to Buddhism for your religion requirement, for example. While ideologically distant from their initial missions, these schools tend to be very strong with respect to social justice and community service efforts, which is certainly laudable.

 

Other schools are more mixed. They have some Catholic course offerings and some Catholic sensibilities will be evident on their campuses. The Blessed Sacrament might be reserved in several chapels, for example. However, their focus, their identity, their emphasis as a college is less distinctively Catholic. These are the schools that non-Catholic students might be leery of, thinking they will be put off by the Catholicity of the place. These students are relieved when they find that their fears are unwarranted; other than a few vestiges here and there, they will not encounter Catholicism in any forceful way.

 

A third category of colleges is the robustly Catholic schools. These schools pride themselves on their efforts to incorporate Catholicism in all of their courses, their dorm and student life policies, in the way they handle admissions and financial aid, etc. Often their daily Masses are chock full of students.

 

As promised at the beginning, there are some new shoots, new flowerings happening in higher education. First, among the historically Catholic and less than robustly Catholic colleges and universities, the same sort of struggles and shifts happening overall in higher education are evident. Some of these schools will close; others will merge in an effort to stay open. Some have found a niche and seem to be doing okay. A few, particularly those that have more selective admissions policies and a higher profile, with top rankings, for example, continue to grow and develop new programs and offerings, build new buildings, and the like. Amongst the robustly Catholic schools, there is slow, steady growth, as well as some exciting new developments. While Magdalene College has finally shuttered, John Paul the Great Catholic University is thriving. These newer colleges have been or will be joined by some brand new schools. College of St. Joseph the Worker, in Steubenville, has just begun. San Damiano College in Springfield, IL and Rosary College in Greenville, SC will open within the next year. St. Joseph’s and San Damiano are thrilling new offerings as they both offer a blended program: Great Books AND trades (electrician, carpenter, plumber, welder, etc.) What a boon to us all! They will produce some very well formed young men (and a few women) who will anchor families and communities. Rosary College is a two-year liberal arts college in the Benedictine Catholic tradition. Their program is accessible online and in person. All three of these are lay led initiatives

 

On the graduate level, two other lay led institutions must be mentioned. The Augustine Institute is in the process of moving to the St. Louis area where it will be poised to expand. In addition to their master’s degrees in Catholic theology, pastoral theology, biblical studies, and Catholic education, they plan to add a master’s in evangelization and a doctorate in theology. With their new facilities, the Institute will also be able to offer retreats and conferences. With over 500 students, the Augustine Institute is the largest graduate school in Catholic theology in the US. They also offer certificates for Catholic educators. Pontifex University, a completely online school, offers master’s degrees in sacred arts, Catholic theology, and education in Catholic schools and a doctorate of theological studies. They also offer several certificate programs. They have over 100 students in their doctoral program (including myself). They also offer a number of certificate programs.

 

These five lay led colleges and universities are signs of hope as are the 300 or so strong Catholic campus ministries. I addition to them, many of the robustly Catholic schools are growing, increasing their student body size and the majors and programs they offer, particularly in engineering fields.

 

Lastly, I will mention the wonderful Catholic campus ministries available on many non-Catholic campuses. Some, like St. John’s at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, have a Catholic dormitory as well as a robust campus ministry program. Indeed, there is a great deal to rejoice about in the college world. 

Information about all the colleges and universities with strong Catholic communities on campus (both robustly Catholic colleges and non-Catholic schools), get a copy of Every Catholic's Guide to College, available here on Amazon. The guide includes an index by major, as well as admissions, aid, campus ministry, and majors and program information for over 300 colleges and universities that met certain criteria!

Campus Readiness Quiz

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Cand., Certified College Planning Specialist

Founder, Celtic College Consultants

 Helping teens be ready for success on campus entails more than helping them develop good study skills and the ability to perform well on tests, oral presentations, and group projects. Numerous personal responsibility skills, interpersonal communication skills, and practical skills are also important as students adapt to independent life on a college campus. This quiz helps teens evaluate their strengths and identify their weaknesses, so they can target their efforts as they finish their preparations to move onto campus.

As I work with teens, I help  them develop these skills. To meet and discuss your teen's college readiness, email me at KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com and request a consultation.

Personal/life skills

Can you regulate your emotions? Calm yourself when you are afraid or irritated? Settle yourself when you are angry or disappointed? Motivate yourself when you feel discouraged?

Can you manage your time well? Exercise self-discipline regarding eating, sleeping, studying, working, having fun, relaxing?

Can you organize large, complex tasks?

Can you resist temptation?

Can you navigate public transportation, uber/lyft, airports, etc. to get where you need to go to get toiletries, medicine, home to visit, etc.?

Can you manage your health needs? Eat well, take prescribed medicines, handle over the counter medical needs like colds, allergies, and the flu? Exercise adequately and regularly? Take meditation and prayer breaks to lower stress?

Can you motivate yourself when you don't "feel like" doing what needs to be done?

Can you adequately reward yourself for successes?

Do you know when to ask for help?

Are you able to manage a minor emergency?

Do you have a stable, effective night routine so you can get to sleep? Do you have the discipline needed to get yourself to bed in time to get enough sleep to be ready for the next day?

Do you have a plan for handling a major crisis, especially if you attend a college more than a couple of hours away from home or your parents travel, have other responsibilities, etc.?

Can you limit texting, etc. adequately in order to be present where you are, able to meet and interact with those near you, not just those not near you?

Interpersonal skills

Can you handle interpersonal conflict well? Compromise or negotiate respectfully in order to settle a dispute? 

Can you set boundaries with people, setting the stage for being treated with respect?

Can you say you are sorry when you need to? Make necessary amends? Let go of grievances?

Do you have a plan to regularly communicate with your parents so they aren't dropping by or calling and texting constantly and so you don't get too lonesome?

Can you advocate for yourself as needed? 

Are you welcoming? Can you make friends?

Practical skills

Can you do laundry? Treat common stains? Take care of specialty garments and fabrics?

Can you budget your money? Track your expenditures and your bank balance(s)? Can you say no to impulse spending opportunities, be they pizza, events, or online specials?

Do you know how to present yourself? In an interview? Informally with a professor in order to give a good impression, gain trust, and build a mentor/mentee relationship? 

Can you ask for help when you need it? Whether a lost student ID or key (contact security) or mental health crisis (for yourself or another), a medical need of some sort (when to go to the clinic, urgent care, or the ER), go to the writing center, seek out a tutor, get directions, or some other need?

Can you keep your things organized and your room tidy? Can you clean a bathroom? a kitchen?

Can you decorate your living space in a way that invites people to feel welcome, and yourself to rest and relax? Your room is your oasis on campus, can you utilize it well?

Do you know where to find the library, counseling center, health clinic, gym, professors' offices, classrooms, printing center(s), tutoring center(s), writing center(s) on campus? 

If you need support services, can you self-advocate to arrange for them?

Do you read your emails regularly? Colleges communicate important information yet many students don't read it. This can cause you from not being registered for classes, not getting credit for your courses, getting kicked off campus for non-payment, and many other headaches.

Do you know what a bursar's office is? It's the place you pay for your tuition and other bills from the college/university.

Do you know what the registrar's office is?

What is a syllabus? Why does it matter?

What are the dining options on your campus and how do you plan to use your flex dollars so you don't run out nor go hungry?

Where can you go on campus to get some time alone, some time to recharge, rest your mind, de-stress?

What does an academic advisor do? 

Why should you go to the career office starting your freshman year? What help can they offer you?

Where do you get specialty advising (like double major, honors college, or pre-professional) on your campus?

Do you have reading and assignments due before your first class meets? How do you find out?

What do you do if your laptop breaks?

Where do you go to get medicine? Is there a pharmacy on campus or nearby?

What are the best places to study on your campus?

How do you learn whether your paper is up to college standards?

How and when do you need to re-file a FAFSA or other aid application forms for subsequent years of college?

How can campus security help you? Are you wise enough to call for a night security escort when needed?

Know the Signs of College Preparedness

by Katherine O'Brien ThD Candidate, Certified College Planning Specialist, & Founder, Celtic College Consultants

 

There are signs that the water is rising and a river will overflow its banks. My friend, who has lived on a river for several years, had to learn those signs. Over the years, during our conversations, I hear occasional comments about the level of the river. This morning, after many storms this past week, I heard about having to move the benches away from the river bank. The river is expect to flood today, hopefully not all the way up to my friend's house. Even so, preparations have been made because the signs were known, watched for, and responded to.

 

 

Do you know the signs of college preparedness for your teen? Your family? Do you know what needs to happen and when it needs to happen so your teen is ready for college?

 

Campus Visits

As I spoke with a sophomore this week, we planned his second round of campus visits and how he and his parents can best prepare for them.

 

Course Selection

As I met with my 8th - 11th grade clients recently, we have discussed class schedules for next year, to meet the requirements of their top choice schools and programs, develop and show their interests, and show the level of academic challenge that they are capable of handling well.

 

College Funding

With the FAFSA changes, college funding strategies have changed. Have you refined your plans? Have you estimated your college costs and put together a cash flow strategy to meet them? Do you know your SAI?

 

Scholarships

College selection significantly influences scholarship eligibility. So does student preparedness. Hoping for scholarships is nowhere near as effective as planning for them. Do you know what types of scholarships might best contribute to your college funding plan? Is your student researching and applying to them? Considering that in college searches?

 

Life Skills

Life skills are sorely lacking in many young people, leading some to drop out of college, change their majors, transfer schools, and fail classes, all of which negatively impact their self-image and future prospects. Are you parenting in such a way that your teen is learning by steadily taking more responsibility, having opportunities to succeed, and to fail, while being mentored, rather than sheltered?

 

Leadership

One of my clients and I discussed his options for developing relationships with key teachers so they will know him well and be able to write top notch recommendations for him in a year. Demonstrating leadership, inside and outside the classroom not only helps teens become strong adults, it also boosts their sense of self, and enables key adults in their lives to get to know them, mentor them, then write strong recommendations for them.

 

 

These are a few of the signs of college preparedness. I invite you to increase your awareness of the signs. Schedule a family consultation with Katherine, a trained, seasoned professional with 20 years’ experience. Hear your teen discuss his or her accomplishments, ideas, hopes, and dreams. Ask your questions. Know what the signs are that you are track. Learn what next steps will move you and your teen toward college success. Be affirmed for the work you have done so far and mentored for continued progress. Email Katherine: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com today to schedule your consultation so you know the signs of college preparedness and what the next right steps toward college success are for your family.

Human Flourishing Among Teens

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

So much of the news about teens is full of darkness, stories replete with examples of loneliness, distress, anxiety, and other ills. Most teens, it seems, are not flourishing in our modern American culture.

Recent studies done by Harvard and the Wall Street Journal show signs of hope. In 2021, a study was released by Harvard researchers Brendan Case and Ying Chen. They concluded that home-schooled students were flourishing in ways significantly different from their public school peers. This contrasts the well publicized critiques of homeschooling, including at least one call for a ban on homeschooling (Elizabeth Bartholet). Criticizers have cast aspersions on homeschooled students, stereotyping such students as socially awkward and generally ignorant. In the past few years, critiques of teens has expanded, noting various adverse impacts social media and extensive phone and other electronics use has had on them.

The picture of the home-schooled student can serve as an inspiration as well as an example of flourishing among teens. So, what did the researchers discover?

"...homeschooled children generally develop into well-adjusted, responsible and socially engaged young adults," wrote Case and Chen in a Wall Street Journal op-ed. The researches noted that homeschooled children were about one-third more likely to engage in volunteer activities. This means they are outward focused, making substantive contributions to their communities. They also noticed that these youth had "higher levels of forgiveness in early adulthood." Over the course of their eleven year study of over 12,000 students, they noticed this trait. Being able to forgive is a complex ability. It requires one to recognize weakness in oneself and others, to have developed some conflict resolution skills, and to be able to let go of wounds. The researchers also found that homeschooled children were more likely to attend religious services as adults than their publicly educated peers. Attending services correlates to lower risks of alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide. Sadly, the avoidance of these negatives are significant factors in defining what flourishing means these days.

It was also noted that homeschooled students were less likely to attend college than their public school peers. While some might find that problematic, I do not. Given the relatively high rate of college non-completion, having students identify whether college is the best step for them after high school is a boon, not a problem. In the past, there were moderate to significant obstacles to college admission. That has changed in recent years, with many colleges now defining clear admissions paths for home schooled students. In fact, some have noted that the flexibility of homeschooling can make it an ideal path to top tier schools since students can focus their program on their areas of interest. In 2018, Harvard highlighted some of its homeschooled students.

With the nearly ubiquitous and extensive use of phones among teens, huge spikes have been observed in adolescent depression, anxiety, loneliness, and increased instances of suicidal ideation. While causation cannot be proven, the correlation between these two increases is undeniable. Cyberbullying, sexting, and "phubbing" (ignoring the people around you, choosing to focus on your phone instead) have all become common in young people's lives. These experiences wound their hearts, rather than contributing to their flourishing. It is expected that these issues are less common among homeschoolers. My personal and professional observations concur with that expectation.

Ways to Help Teens Flourish

The Harvard data should encourage families who have chosen to homeschool. They also provide some indicators of ways other youth can be helped to flourish. Limiting screen time. Increasing interpersonal interactions. Teaching personal responsibility. Encouraging participation in religious and volunteer activities. Tailoring educational activities to enable deeper exploration of areas of interest. Increased time with parents, communicating well, learning conflict resolution skills, and fostering personal responsibility. All these and more can be gleaned from the research as ways parents can help their teens flourish.

(For Kerry McDonald's full article about Case and Chen's research, see https://fee.org/articles/new-harvard-study-homeschoolers-turn-out-happy-well-adjusted-and-engaged/ )

Boost Happiness and College Success

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD, Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder, Celtic College Consultants

We all want the same thing for ourselves and our kids, college bound or not. We want to:

• Do our best work!
• Live intentionally!
• Be successful! (good grades, work promotions, etc.)
• Have less stress in your life!
• Be able to enjoy life (take care of responsibilities, and actually relax when it’s time to have fun!)
• Gain clarity about what’s most important in your life!
• Have a clear reason to get out of bed in the morning
• Be able to make the world a better place, make a difference!
  
• Be less stressed and grumpy
• Keep your commitments!
  
• Make good decisions about opportunities that come up. (Do I have time for this? Can I make the time and take care of my responsibilities?)

Learning to manage our time and complete our work by deadlines is a critical skill we all need to be successful in high school, college, and in life. This is one of those practices generally referred to as self-discipline.

A deadline tells us what needs to be done, and in what time frame, to have positive outcomes in our life. Deadlines are also signals that there are negative consequences ahead which can be avoided. Late fees on bills, cancelled services, lower grades, these are examples of possible negative consequences.

 

Know Your Deadlines & Create Your Own Mini-Deadlines

 

Be aware of Deadlines – the first step is acknowledging the existence of deadlines

 

For larger projects is to break it down into steps and assign them deadlines. This will help you make steady progress, avoiding the situation of having “everything” need to be done quickly just before the deadline. When that happens, cutting corners to get the work done on time is inevitable, as is increased stress. Both degraded performance and intense stress can be avoided.

 

Some people argue that they do their best work in the rush of the last moment. They are kidding themselves. What I think they really mean is that the pressure of a looming deadline is necessary for them to put forth effort and that they are unaware of how much better their work and life could be.

 

Stepping through a project offers numerous small deadlines/ pressure points to complete the various tasks that “forces” you to complete the work, bit by bit. These deadlines also serve as markers that you are making progress, so you need to improve, when you are falling behind, or can relax a bit, if you are ahead. This process also allows you to focus on one portion of a large task at a time, and do it well. As you become experienced with this, you can schedule in “extra” time to review and refine your work, thus enhancing the overall outcome. It is delightful to find that we can do better than we previously thought, and that our lives can be more steady, less stress filled, more enjoyable, than we’d previously experienced.
 

Know what Motivates You - Create an Image of Yourself Being Successful

 

Be aware of what motivates you, and incorporate it into your life. – remind yourself of the negative consequences, remind yourself of the positive possibilities, leave visual reminders of them, reminders on your phone, post it notes, notes on your mirror, vision boards, whatever works

 

Reminders of what you are working to avoid, or working to accomplish, can be highly motivating. Having a picture of yourself in a cap and gown, at a podium speaking to an audience, etc. can be such an encouragement, and a reminder of why the present toil is worth doing, and doing well. Create a "vision board" of you accomplishing your big goals, avoiding the pitfalls, being successful!

 

Set Reminders 

 

Use visible reminders of the stages, of the next deadline, to help you stay on task! Use a calendar to get things done, to step yourself through the process. Put the various steps onto your calendar, reserving time – schedule research the topic/create thesis statement, schedule write outline, schedule research Part I on outline, etc. Put reminders on your phone, sticky notes on your mirror. Whatever works for you, do it!

 

Allow for the Unexpected

 

Allow extra time for hiccups, problems, distractions, etc. So add in buffer times to handle these unexpected occurrences. This is critical to successfully completing tasks by deadlines.

 

In the beginning, "Frontload" Your Timeline 

 

If you are new at something, “frontload” your plan. Be aggressive with your goals for the first half of two-thirds of the allotted time. Plan to finish the whole project in three-quarters of the allotted time (I have school assignments in mind here.) If the teacher assigns a paper that’s due in four weeks, write your plan to have it done in three weeks. Set a week one goal, week two goal, week three goal – completion! Work hard to meet your goals. Notice what took more time than you expected. Does that task often take longer? Did you waste time? Noticing these sort of things gives you the information you need to improve your process. For example, I find pulling together a thesis statement to be challenging. To get it done with enough time to do the required research, outlining, drafting, and editing, I allot a lot of time to it and break it down even further. I might set a goal to have research done over the weekend, a thesis or two written Monday, and set a meeting with my teacher to discuss it on Tuesday. The meeting does a few things to help me along. It forces me to focus, since I don’t want to arrive at the meeting without any ideas. It also gives me the opportunity to get clarity from the teacher – yes, this is a good direction, no that’s a distraction, your focus is too broad, or too narrow. In effect, I’m getting a course correction at the start, rather than after I’ve spent lots of time researching and drafting my paper, only to realize I don’t have enough material to produce an adequate paper, or that I have far too much, both of which require me to go back to the thesis statement, revise it, and significantly revise all that I have done so far. 

 

One of the benefits of “frontloading” my timeline for a project is that it gives me “wiggle room.” I now have time to finish early, get feedback from others, or to let it sit for a few days, then look it over to catch any rough transitions or other little edits I can make to improve the flow (and my grade!)

 

Another benefit of “frontloading” the timeline is that there’s room to allot more time to a task that is requiring more time than originally expected.

 

You may also have the happy experience of being done, knowing your work is well done, and relaxing while others are stressed and doing a rush job just before the deadline.

 

Katherine O'Brien is available to help your teen prepare for college and beyond. Email kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com to schedule a consultation.