What Kind of Person Does Your Teen Want to Be?

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

Character is not a word heard around college admissions very often. How can I impress admissions? Is the top question in many students’ minds. Sadly, it is the wrong question. This is life, not a game. What matters is becoming a man or woman of good character, with defined goals, humility, and strength, strength that comes from reliance on God’s strength.

"Do not desire to be other than you are, but desire to be very well what you are."
- St. Francis de Sales

St. Francis de Sales was a bishop with a particular gift for guiding lay people on their journeys to holiness, to intimacy with God. Part of that journey is becoming yourself.

Teens are just starting this journey. This period of our lives, from 13-23, is so formative. NOW is the time to set goals, to define our character, to lay the foundation to become fully alive. It takes time to come to know one’s strengths and traits. As I work with underclassmen, this is my focus, to help each come to know themselves well, and to begin to take steps to develop their strengths, overcome their weaknesses, explore their interests, and come alive as the particular person he or she is.

"Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character." Heraclitus of Ephesus

For a man who lived over 3,000 years ago, Heraclitus certainly hit the nail on the head. Neuroscientific research has confirmed this. The more we repeat thoughts and patterns, the more deeply they are ingrained in our brains. This is also true of our thoughts. What we hear, listen to, repeat to ourselves over and over and over is what we believe. That's why changing one's mind, creating a new habit, learning something new all take time and consistent effort. We are creating new pathways in our brains.

Here's an example of how this can be done. The Boy Scouts does an amazing, powerful thing and most Scouts have no idea that it's happening. Every single Scout learns the Scout law at the beginning of his or her Scouting journey.

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

The Scout law is repeated at the beginning of every single meeting. Repetition doesn’t make the change happen. It does, however, plant the seeds, that these are traits worth having, that each Scout is there to develop.

There are many ways to inculcate character in teens. It’s worth being intentional about. I am, and have been for my entire career as a college consultant, with every single teen I’ve worked with. To learn more about my College Success Program, click here. To inquire about having me work with your teen, email me and request a consultation. KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you. 
- Saint Thomas Aquinas