by Katherine O'Brien, Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder Celtic College Consultants
The holidays are a special time of the year. Thanksgiving, St. Nicholas Day, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Christmas, and New Years. These special days bring various groups of people together, friends, co-workers, and extended family members. In addition to all the merry making, good food, and fun activities, most teens are silently suffering from anxiety as they wonder how they fit in. Teens (and some adults) wonder:
What do people need that my talent can provide? What can I do to help? How do I fit in, now that I am no longer a child?
They wonder how their gifts and talents, personalities and
interests can become something, become useful in a meaningful way. One of the
basic human desires is to be seen and acknowledged. Another is to be useful, to
do something meaningful and lasting with one’s life.
Here are a few examples of how teens I have worked with have been able to connect their gifts with the needs of those around them:
One of my students, a gifted musician, uses her music to
give people a respite from their daily lives. Seeing how stressed people in her life are,
she invites them to sit with her and let go of their phones and burdens for a
while. She listens carefully to them, joining them in whatever is going on in their lives. Also sensitive to the needs of the elderly in her community, she occasionally
plays piano and sings at a local nursing home in order to help meet the people's needs for connection.
Playing songs from their past, her audience members connect through memories to people they
have known over the course of their lives. Playing songs of the season, she helps them celebrate the blessings
of today, and brings the community together, connecting them with shared song
and music.
Another of my female students has the gift of emotional
sensitivity. She uses this in her peer counseling roles, drawing students into
small groups or one on one discussions. She helps by listening, and by teaching
various coping strategies. Just the fact that they are noticed and reached out
to has helped break through the isolation her fellow students have felt,
thinking they were the only one who was grieving or sad or lonely or afraid
when, in fact, many people feel those things. It is not uncommon, for example,
for high school students to experience the loss of one or more of their
grandparents. This loss is significant. Not only have they lost someone who
likely provided them affirmation and encouragement, a tie to their past, to the
heritage of their family, to the stories and customs and traditions of their
family has been lost. Life is never again the same after the death, or the
birth, of a human being. It takes time to adjust to that change in our family and community.
A young man I worked with recently, used his own need for
physical exercise in order to keep his mental health healthy to motivate him. Rather than sit inside and get depressed, he tapped his
organizational skills during the pandemic lockdown. With help from his dad and a few friends, he modified his family’s
garage into an open air weightlifting gym with the help of a group of friends.
This same group was then able to come together and lift and exercise, thus
meeting their social, physical, and mental health needs. His ingenuity,
creativity, and leadership skills served his community well. He also gave encouragement to his friends, thus boosting everyone's moral during those difficult and uncertain days. Each of those
young people, with their lower personal stress level and calmer demeanor was
able to help support his or her family through the difficulties everyone faced
during the months of lockdown.
Another young man I had the pleasure of working with throughout
his high school years was extremely introverted. Finding opportunities to
exercise his gifts and talents in ways he was comfortable with was challenging.
One day, when we were talking, I noticed that his whole demeanor underwent a
subtle change. He had been talking about making a particular dish for a family
gathering. This dish was special to his family, and he had been taught how to
make it by his grandmother. He was now the custodian of that part of his family’s
patrimony. His quiet work in the kitchen was celebrated by the family when they
gathered around the table. With my encouragement, he sought out a younger
cousin and began to teach her the recipe and techniques needed to make this
special dish, thus ensuring that this part of their family’s heritage would not
be lost, since more than one of the grandchildren could carry it forward.
Please join me in helping teens use their gifts to bless others
When you meet with teens at holiday gatherings this month,
how can you help them begin to recognize their talents and find ways to use
them to meet the needs of the people in their lives? Be creative. Invite them to make their own unique contribution to your family and community.
One of the things you can do is invite them to meet with me.
For 20 years I have guided teens through the process of getting to know and
appreciate their own giftedness, then explore possible roles to begin to use
those gifts now. These conversations blossom into considerations of post high
school possibilities including trade school, community college certificate
programs, as well as various programs and majors at college.
Katherine can be contacted by emailing: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com
