Help Teens Be Holiday Blessings

by Katherine O'Brien, Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder Celtic College Consultants

The holidays are a special time of the year. Thanksgiving, St. Nicholas Day, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Christmas, and New Years. These special days bring various groups of people together, friends, co-workers, and extended family members. In addition to all the merry making, good food, and fun activities, most teens are silently suffering from anxiety as they wonder how they fit in. Teens (and some adults) wonder:

 

What do people need that my talent can provide? What can I do to help? How do I fit in, now that I am no longer a child?

 

They wonder how their gifts and talents, personalities and interests can become something, become useful in a meaningful way. One of the basic human desires is to be seen and acknowledged. Another is to be useful, to do something meaningful and lasting with one’s life.

 

Here are a few examples of how teens I have worked with have been able to connect their gifts with the needs of those around them:

One of my students, a gifted musician, uses her music to give people a respite from their daily lives. Seeing how stressed people in her life are, she invites them to sit with her and let go of their phones and burdens for a while. She listens carefully to them, joining them in whatever is going on in their lives. Also sensitive to the needs of the elderly in her community, she occasionally plays piano and sings at a local nursing home in order to help meet the people's needs for connection. Playing songs from their past, her audience members connect through memories to people they have known over the course of their lives. Playing songs of the season, she helps them celebrate the blessings of today, and brings the community together, connecting them with shared song and music.

 

Another of my female students has the gift of emotional sensitivity. She uses this in her peer counseling roles, drawing students into small groups or one on one discussions. She helps by listening, and by teaching various coping strategies. Just the fact that they are noticed and reached out to has helped break through the isolation her fellow students have felt, thinking they were the only one who was grieving or sad or lonely or afraid when, in fact, many people feel those things. It is not uncommon, for example, for high school students to experience the loss of one or more of their grandparents. This loss is significant. Not only have they lost someone who likely provided them affirmation and encouragement, a tie to their past, to the heritage of their family, to the stories and customs and traditions of their family has been lost. Life is never again the same after the death, or the birth, of a human being. It takes time to adjust to that change in our family and community.

 

A young man I worked with recently, used his own need for physical exercise in order to keep his mental health healthy to motivate him. Rather than sit inside and get depressed, he tapped his organizational skills during the pandemic lockdown. With help from his dad and a few friends, he modified his family’s garage into an open air weightlifting gym with the help of a group of friends. This same group was then able to come together and lift and exercise, thus meeting their social, physical, and mental health needs. His ingenuity, creativity, and leadership skills served his community well. He also gave encouragement to his friends, thus boosting everyone's moral during those difficult and uncertain days. Each of those young people, with their lower personal stress level and calmer demeanor was able to help support his or her family through the difficulties everyone faced during the months of lockdown.

 

Another young man I had the pleasure of working with throughout his high school years was extremely introverted. Finding opportunities to exercise his gifts and talents in ways he was comfortable with was challenging. One day, when we were talking, I noticed that his whole demeanor underwent a subtle change. He had been talking about making a particular dish for a family gathering. This dish was special to his family, and he had been taught how to make it by his grandmother. He was now the custodian of that part of his family’s patrimony. His quiet work in the kitchen was celebrated by the family when they gathered around the table. With my encouragement, he sought out a younger cousin and began to teach her the recipe and techniques needed to make this special dish, thus ensuring that this part of their family’s heritage would not be lost, since more than one of the grandchildren could carry it forward.

 

Please join me in helping teens use their gifts to bless others

 

When you meet with teens at holiday gatherings this month, how can you help them begin to recognize their talents and find ways to use them to meet the needs of the people in their lives? Be creative. Invite them to make their own unique contribution to your family and community.

 

One of the things you can do is invite them to meet with me. For 20 years I have guided teens through the process of getting to know and appreciate their own giftedness, then explore possible roles to begin to use those gifts now. These conversations blossom into considerations of post high school possibilities including trade school, community college certificate programs, as well as various programs and majors at college.

 

Katherine can be contacted by emailing: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

How to Choose what to do after high school…

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD candidate, Certified College Planning Specialist kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

 

 

Again and again teens report feeling overwhelmed about choosing a college major. Many also are stressed out about deciding whether or not to even go to college.

This is exactly what I do in the early phase of my College Success Program. I use a data driven, step by step process to help teens determine which career aligns with who they are, with their individual gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, personality, values, etc. Once that is identified, we proceed to explore  programs, majors, and schools (or other paths) to get them to their goal.

 

Here are a few of the key questions

 

Who are you?

What are your strengths?

What are your weaknesses?

What are your interests?

What are your values (moral, social, ecological, etc.)

What are your dreams?

How do you best learn? – What method(s)? What setting(s)?

 

Where do you want to go in life?

What kind of work?

What kind of Peers?

What kind of person do you want to become?

What kind of person do you want to marry?

Where do you want to live? (What kind of locale? Where in the country?)

 

What are the paths to get from where you are to there?

What are the requirements? Degrees, certifications, internships, etc.

What kind of professional network do you need to build?

What kinds of friends do you need to cultivate?

What sort of lifestyle will help you get there?

Which of your weaknesses do you need to overcome in order to be successful?

How can you leverage your strengths to do that?

 

Which of those is the best way for you to get there?

What environment do you need in order to thrive? – living circumstances, learning circumstances, social environment…

 

What do you need to do to get from here to there?

College?

Apprenticeship?

Trade School?

Certificate program?

On the job training?

 

So, how is a 17 year old supposed to decide? Is it even possible?

 

To be honest, most don’t do very well at this. The introspection required is difficult. Having a mentor and accountability partner to lead you through this exploration is essential to this process. Most never do it… and fumble around in college, changing majors, dropping out, or working various jobs after high school, sort of figuring things out by a somewhat random process of elimination. Both of those are inefficient and painful. Learning by discovering what makes you miserable is pretty brutal. Some of us can project, can imagine a future in a certain circumstance and decide whether heading that direction would be good for us. Most of us can’t do that. We have no idea how to imagine something we have not experienced.

 

ALL of my College Success Program students start with this process. Only after we have these answers, do  I guide them to programs, majors, and colleges (or trade schools!) that offer what they are looking for. Email me to set up an initial meeting to discuss your situation and how the College Success Program can help your teen on his or her journey to college. KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com

What is the biggest difference between high school and college?

 

Dear teen,

 

In high school, you are told where to be, what to do. You are reminded, over and over, about big assignments, upcoming tests and trips, everything. The vast majority of every day is scripted. When to be places, what sorts of clothes are acceptable to wear, how to wear your hair, which shoes are cool, which clubs to join, sports to play, to be part of the "in crowd," or one of the" in crowds" if your school boasts more than one - maybe there are cool athletes, cool theatre geeks, and cool tech wizards in your world.

 

Then you apply to college, to the same colleges as the other kids you know, whether or not their favorite school is a good fit for you, whether you have a clue what you want to study or not. Just getting pushed along down a stream of expectations, hemmed in on every side.

 

Then, one day, after a summer of feeling lost, no longer in high school but not really anywhere else in life yet, one hot day in August (or September for a few of you), you arrive on campus with a car full of stuff and two parents who are acting weird, trying not to show that they are excited for you and terrified at the same time. Two parents who will miss you and who are also thrilled to see you start to fly out of the nest. Parents who fuss over your room and take you shopping for all the things you forgot or didn’t know you absolutely had to have for your teeny tiny little dorm room.

 

When they drive away, reality sets in. Life is completely different now. Somehow you figure out where to go to get food, ‘cause that’s really important. You float along into some orientation meetings. A few days in it hits you. Everything is different now.

 

Now you have to lead your own life.

 

No one will tell you when to awaken, whether to brush your teeth or put your clothes in the laundry bag/hamper thing or onto the floor under your bed. No one will bother you if you stay up really late, eat four helpings of ice cream instead of supper, or skip meals altogether.

 

Somehow, magically, you are expected to know how to run your own life. Ridiculous isn’t it? Even if you were homeschooled, you’ve been being told where to be and what to do and how to live your life every day, until now. Now you are at college. Now you are “on your own.” Those words sounded sweet, freeing, even captivating. Being on your own, making your own rules, doing your own thing.

 

FREEDOM!

 

This is the real test. It wasn’t the ACT or SAT or the crazy college application essays. It wasn’t the nail biting wait for admissions decisions, scholarship offers, financial packages.  This, now, is the test.

 

Who will you choose to be? How will you lead your own life. THAT is the question. THAT is what is different. Now that you are here, it’s ALL up to you. To register for classes, show up to class, do the reading, the problem sets, or not. To sleep or eat, have fun, make friends, or not. To get involved, be curious, stay in your room all the time, go off campus and wander, or not. EVERYTHING is up to you. Will you ask for help when you need it? Will you lie about your past, creating a perfect home life or parents with interesting histories? Will you be true to yourself? Now that’s a tough one. Who are you anyway? It’s time to sort that out. You don’t have to do things the way your parents did. You can try different ideas. You can do so many things. Too many, really. It’s incredibly difficult to sort out what to do.

 

Right, It’s time to LEAD YOURSELF.

 

“Wait a second, how am I supposed to do that????” you say, panicked.

 

Right, I hear you. No one taught us how to do this either. Back in the day, when we parents went to college, we also had to sort this out. We had some advantages; you have different ones.

 

While in high school, there are a number of ways you can begin to develop the attitudes and skills that will help you successfully navigate this transition.

 

“Ummm, what do you mean successfully?” Well, unfortunately, many college freshmen go home during first semester or home for Christmas and never return. So, yeah, not everyone is successful when they go off to college. SHOCKER, I know. No one ever tells you this!

 

Here are my top tips to get yourself ready for college:

 

1.     Get a job. You’ll learn to get yourself somewhere on a schedule different from the rest of your family, just like college kids who all have different schedules and each must manage his or her own.

2.     Figure out why YOU want to go to college. What’s the point? What do you want to get out of it? Why do you want that? These might sound flippant, but they aren’t. Take serious time to think about these things. Dig deep. Get real answers, the answers that resonate in your core.

3.     Start to think about who you are and who you want to be. When you get to campus, you get to choose which of your strengths to highlight, which of your weaknesses to work on improving, etc. You get to choose to do things the way your parents taught you to do them, or a new way. You will choose to be a woman or man of good character, or not, you get to choose….

4.     Explore your interests now. Academic, social, career possibilities, hobbies. If you’re interested in something, get curious, start to explore. Read up on the topic, watch videos, try things out, join groups, take classes in and out of school, etc. Once you find yourself deeply interested in something, then start to research what sorts of careers there are in that area. Have a solid, realistic idea of your interests and career prospects before you get to campus. That will help guide you once you get there and have to sort through myriad options.

5.     Learn how to advocate for yourself. Check in to doctor’s appointments by yourself. Schedule your own appointments. Organize your tasks and projects and household responsibilities. Manage your time. Ask for help every time you need it. Learn how to do everything your mom does for you. Cook. Clean. Organize. Schedule. Launder. Prepare. Clean up after. Communicate. Coordinate people’s tasks. Set limits. Get help with the ones you struggle with.

6.     Develop solid self-care habits and routines. Get enough sleep and exercise and eat well, because you want to do that for yourself in order to feel good and be able to be active, etc. College will give you the opportunity to gain or lose lots of weight, be fit, or not, pull all nighters doing subpar work, or not, etc. Good self-care habits will help you succeed on campus. Good self-care habits will help you make the most of the opportunities you’ll find on campus.

College is a gold mine. There are a zillion chances to meet people, learn things, try new things, go places, explore concepts, …. Be ready to make the most of this special time in your life.

 

Sound like a tall order? Need some help working your way through all that? No problem. I’ve been walking teens through all of this for years and years. I know you’re special. I look forward to helping you discover that and become amazing. Have your parents drop me an email and set up a consultation (pretty fancy word for a zoom meeting!) Let’s talk! I'm Katherine O’Brien (KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com) Want to know more about me and what I do? Check out my website: CelticCollegeConsultants.com 

Programs for Career Exploration

by Katherine O'Brien, MA CCPS

With half of college students changing their majors, many of them adding one or more years to their path to a bachelors degree and about $50,000 of dollars to the cost for each extra year it takes, it is very important that students take time during the high school years to explore possible careers.  Having clear goals enables teens to be able to identify and seek majors and programs that will prepare them for work in the field they have identified.

 

The Boy Scout program offers 137 merit badges, many of which are designed to allow Scouts to explore various careers.  Some examples are welding, landscape architecture, robotics, animal science, astronomy, automotive maintenance, engineering, entrepreneurship, soil and water conservation, game design, cooking, environmental science, sustainability, graphic arts, crime prevention and computing, medicine, moviemaking, nuclear science, oceanography, plumbing, public health, fish and wildlife management. Additionally, once the Scout has attained the Life rank he or she can organize and lead an Eagle project.

Some high schools have DECA groups.  The mission of DECA is to prepare emerging leaders and entrepreneurs in marketing, finance, hospitality, and management.  Some of the DECA program happens in the classroom, some happens in applied learning situations.  DECA hosts competitions in business administration, team decision making, personal finance literacy, business operations research, entrepreneurship, marketing, professional selling and consulting.

Girl Scouts also offers some career exploration opportunities in their badges: engineering, computer science, space science, robotics, mechanical engineering, financial literacy, healthy relationships, car care, textile arts, website designer, novel writing, business etiquette, programming and designing robots, ecology, government, cooking, jeweler, and photography.

Junior Achievement also offers Biztown experiences and classes which allow young people to explore various business roles including store owner, entrepreneur, and financial professional.

Your College Prep Team

by Katherine O'Brien, MA CCPS, Founder of Celtic College Consultants

    In the “good old days,” we visited our high school guidance counselor to help us prepare for college.  Today, things are completely different.  While the guidance counselor continues to serve an important role in many high schools, the vast majority are overburdened by huge caseloads which prohibit them from offering college bound students the guidance they truly need.  Actually, the national average for the number of students per counselor is 464 to 1.  In California, the ratio is 708 to 1 and Michigan has a whopping 744 students per counselor; Arizona’s even worse with 903 students per counselor.  The American Student Counselor Association recommends having 250 students per counselor.  Only New Hampshire, Vermont, and Wyoming have ratios at that level.

What are parents doing to make sure their kids get the direction and support they need?

Many are assembling their own “college teams.”

As one parent put it, “College costs are absurd.  There is more pressure on kids these days.  More competition, more steps involved.  We don’t have the time or the ability or the experience to do this alone, so it only makes sense to get help.”

What expertise do you need on your team?

College Admissions & Applications Coach: This person should regularly interact with admissions officers, be an expert writing coach, and have helped students get admitted by all types of colleges, including state schools, elite colleges, and the Ivy League/top tier highly selective colleges.

College Funding Advisor: This is critical for any family.  Having an expert in your corner to help with Expected Family Contribution (EFC) and prepare financial aid forms including the FAFSA and CSS PROFILE is invaluable.  This member of your team should also be able to assess your retirement readiness, calculate your cash flow for college, ensure that you don’t burden yourself or your student with unreasonable loan debt.

Test Prep Planner: Experts advise college bound students to have a testing and test prep timeline in place by the start of the 10^th grade.  This allows the student to determine which test is best for them, take it 2 or 3 times and complete all testing by the summer before their senior year, at the latest.  Increases in test scores often correlate into thousands of dollars in merit based scholarships so being prepared can warrant a lucrative return on your investment.

Test Prep & Academic Tutors: In order to score the highest possible scores, some families find utilizing tutors to be an effective strategy.  Test prep courses of some kind are imperative.  Additionally, in order to keep the student's grades as high as possible, many include academic tutors on their college prep team, as needed by their student.

Career Advisor & Major and College Selection Guide: There are over 4,000 colleges & universities in the US.  Picking the right major, the right career, and attending the right school for you is essential to ensuring a timely graduation and avoiding unnecessary expenses. With new data from the National Student Clearinghouse Research Center, 60% of college students graduating in 8 years.  55% are finishing in 6 years, the longstanding national average.  For students who started at community colleges, 45% have their degree in 6 years.  Private colleges continue to be significantly more successful in producing 4-year graduates.

Specialty Guidance: For athletes, artists, performers, and musicians, special guidance is required.  Identifying and attracting the attention of college coaches is key for athletes.  Athletic recruiting has changed in recent years so an athlete marketer will be a key member of your college team.  For others who must participate in auditions or compile portfolios, particular guidance is also a necessity.

Personal Growth Mentor:  Soft skills are becoming increasingly important in college admissions.  College want to see that students can interact well with others, maintain their wellbeing, and manage the stress of campus life and collegiate level academic demands.  With the enormous increase in mental health needs on campus, admissions teams truly value students who have demonstrated strengths in these areas.  Students benefit from having a mentor’s guidance along the way.

How do Parents Put Together Their Team?

Fundamentally there are two options.  First, parents can determine which kinds of expertise they need then seek it out, effectively creating their own team.  This can be an effective way to approach the process but it also involves a great deal of effort and time to seek, find, interview, hire, and coordinate the various professionals on the team.  For that reason, most parents prefer to hire college planning specialist like myself then rely on our expertise to identify other professionals needed to address their particular needs in ways best for their student.  Being a holistic planner, I provide student development and guidance as well as the financial side of things.  Not being an investment advisor, I regularly collaborate with my clients' financial advisors, using our complementary expertise to propose the most effective strategies for the family to achieve its goals.

To explore partnering with me, kindly schedule an initial consultation appointment with me, Katherine O'Brien through my online scheduler, which I update weekly with my availability: www.CelticCollegeConsultants.FullSlate.com.  Once your meeting i scheduled, I will send you a survey for your student to complete as well as an agenda for our meeting.