Human Flourishing Among Teens

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

So much of the news about teens is full of darkness, stories replete with examples of loneliness, distress, anxiety, and other ills. Most teens, it seems, are not flourishing in our modern American culture.

Recent studies done by Harvard and the Wall Street Journal show signs of hope. In 2021, a study was released by Harvard researchers Brendan Case and Ying Chen. They concluded that home-schooled students were flourishing in ways significantly different from their public school peers. This contrasts the well publicized critiques of homeschooling, including at least one call for a ban on homeschooling (Elizabeth Bartholet). Criticizers have cast aspersions on homeschooled students, stereotyping such students as socially awkward and generally ignorant. In the past few years, critiques of teens has expanded, noting various adverse impacts social media and extensive phone and other electronics use has had on them.

The picture of the home-schooled student can serve as an inspiration as well as an example of flourishing among teens. So, what did the researchers discover?

"...homeschooled children generally develop into well-adjusted, responsible and socially engaged young adults," wrote Case and Chen in a Wall Street Journal op-ed. The researches noted that homeschooled children were about one-third more likely to engage in volunteer activities. This means they are outward focused, making substantive contributions to their communities. They also noticed that these youth had "higher levels of forgiveness in early adulthood." Over the course of their eleven year study of over 12,000 students, they noticed this trait. Being able to forgive is a complex ability. It requires one to recognize weakness in oneself and others, to have developed some conflict resolution skills, and to be able to let go of wounds. The researchers also found that homeschooled children were more likely to attend religious services as adults than their publicly educated peers. Attending services correlates to lower risks of alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide. Sadly, the avoidance of these negatives are significant factors in defining what flourishing means these days.

It was also noted that homeschooled students were less likely to attend college than their public school peers. While some might find that problematic, I do not. Given the relatively high rate of college non-completion, having students identify whether college is the best step for them after high school is a boon, not a problem. In the past, there were moderate to significant obstacles to college admission. That has changed in recent years, with many colleges now defining clear admissions paths for home schooled students. In fact, some have noted that the flexibility of homeschooling can make it an ideal path to top tier schools since students can focus their program on their areas of interest. In 2018, Harvard highlighted some of its homeschooled students.

With the nearly ubiquitous and extensive use of phones among teens, huge spikes have been observed in adolescent depression, anxiety, loneliness, and increased instances of suicidal ideation. While causation cannot be proven, the correlation between these two increases is undeniable. Cyberbullying, sexting, and "phubbing" (ignoring the people around you, choosing to focus on your phone instead) have all become common in young people's lives. These experiences wound their hearts, rather than contributing to their flourishing. It is expected that these issues are less common among homeschoolers. My personal and professional observations concur with that expectation.

Ways to Help Teens Flourish

The Harvard data should encourage families who have chosen to homeschool. They also provide some indicators of ways other youth can be helped to flourish. Limiting screen time. Increasing interpersonal interactions. Teaching personal responsibility. Encouraging participation in religious and volunteer activities. Tailoring educational activities to enable deeper exploration of areas of interest. Increased time with parents, communicating well, learning conflict resolution skills, and fostering personal responsibility. All these and more can be gleaned from the research as ways parents can help their teens flourish.

(For Kerry McDonald's full article about Case and Chen's research, see https://fee.org/articles/new-harvard-study-homeschoolers-turn-out-happy-well-adjusted-and-engaged/ )

Boost Happiness and College Success

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD, Certified College Planning Specialist, Founder, Celtic College Consultants

We all want the same thing for ourselves and our kids, college bound or not. We want to:

• Do our best work!
• Live intentionally!
• Be successful! (good grades, work promotions, etc.)
• Have less stress in your life!
• Be able to enjoy life (take care of responsibilities, and actually relax when it’s time to have fun!)
• Gain clarity about what’s most important in your life!
• Have a clear reason to get out of bed in the morning
• Be able to make the world a better place, make a difference!
  
• Be less stressed and grumpy
• Keep your commitments!
  
• Make good decisions about opportunities that come up. (Do I have time for this? Can I make the time and take care of my responsibilities?)

Learning to manage our time and complete our work by deadlines is a critical skill we all need to be successful in high school, college, and in life. This is one of those practices generally referred to as self-discipline.

A deadline tells us what needs to be done, and in what time frame, to have positive outcomes in our life. Deadlines are also signals that there are negative consequences ahead which can be avoided. Late fees on bills, cancelled services, lower grades, these are examples of possible negative consequences.

 

Know Your Deadlines & Create Your Own Mini-Deadlines

 

Be aware of Deadlines – the first step is acknowledging the existence of deadlines

 

For larger projects is to break it down into steps and assign them deadlines. This will help you make steady progress, avoiding the situation of having “everything” need to be done quickly just before the deadline. When that happens, cutting corners to get the work done on time is inevitable, as is increased stress. Both degraded performance and intense stress can be avoided.

 

Some people argue that they do their best work in the rush of the last moment. They are kidding themselves. What I think they really mean is that the pressure of a looming deadline is necessary for them to put forth effort and that they are unaware of how much better their work and life could be.

 

Stepping through a project offers numerous small deadlines/ pressure points to complete the various tasks that “forces” you to complete the work, bit by bit. These deadlines also serve as markers that you are making progress, so you need to improve, when you are falling behind, or can relax a bit, if you are ahead. This process also allows you to focus on one portion of a large task at a time, and do it well. As you become experienced with this, you can schedule in “extra” time to review and refine your work, thus enhancing the overall outcome. It is delightful to find that we can do better than we previously thought, and that our lives can be more steady, less stress filled, more enjoyable, than we’d previously experienced.
 

Know what Motivates You - Create an Image of Yourself Being Successful

 

Be aware of what motivates you, and incorporate it into your life. – remind yourself of the negative consequences, remind yourself of the positive possibilities, leave visual reminders of them, reminders on your phone, post it notes, notes on your mirror, vision boards, whatever works

 

Reminders of what you are working to avoid, or working to accomplish, can be highly motivating. Having a picture of yourself in a cap and gown, at a podium speaking to an audience, etc. can be such an encouragement, and a reminder of why the present toil is worth doing, and doing well. Create a "vision board" of you accomplishing your big goals, avoiding the pitfalls, being successful!

 

Set Reminders 

 

Use visible reminders of the stages, of the next deadline, to help you stay on task! Use a calendar to get things done, to step yourself through the process. Put the various steps onto your calendar, reserving time – schedule research the topic/create thesis statement, schedule write outline, schedule research Part I on outline, etc. Put reminders on your phone, sticky notes on your mirror. Whatever works for you, do it!

 

Allow for the Unexpected

 

Allow extra time for hiccups, problems, distractions, etc. So add in buffer times to handle these unexpected occurrences. This is critical to successfully completing tasks by deadlines.

 

In the beginning, "Frontload" Your Timeline 

 

If you are new at something, “frontload” your plan. Be aggressive with your goals for the first half of two-thirds of the allotted time. Plan to finish the whole project in three-quarters of the allotted time (I have school assignments in mind here.) If the teacher assigns a paper that’s due in four weeks, write your plan to have it done in three weeks. Set a week one goal, week two goal, week three goal – completion! Work hard to meet your goals. Notice what took more time than you expected. Does that task often take longer? Did you waste time? Noticing these sort of things gives you the information you need to improve your process. For example, I find pulling together a thesis statement to be challenging. To get it done with enough time to do the required research, outlining, drafting, and editing, I allot a lot of time to it and break it down even further. I might set a goal to have research done over the weekend, a thesis or two written Monday, and set a meeting with my teacher to discuss it on Tuesday. The meeting does a few things to help me along. It forces me to focus, since I don’t want to arrive at the meeting without any ideas. It also gives me the opportunity to get clarity from the teacher – yes, this is a good direction, no that’s a distraction, your focus is too broad, or too narrow. In effect, I’m getting a course correction at the start, rather than after I’ve spent lots of time researching and drafting my paper, only to realize I don’t have enough material to produce an adequate paper, or that I have far too much, both of which require me to go back to the thesis statement, revise it, and significantly revise all that I have done so far. 

 

One of the benefits of “frontloading” my timeline for a project is that it gives me “wiggle room.” I now have time to finish early, get feedback from others, or to let it sit for a few days, then look it over to catch any rough transitions or other little edits I can make to improve the flow (and my grade!)

 

Another benefit of “frontloading” the timeline is that there’s room to allot more time to a task that is requiring more time than originally expected.

 

You may also have the happy experience of being done, knowing your work is well done, and relaxing while others are stressed and doing a rush job just before the deadline.

 

Katherine O'Brien is available to help your teen prepare for college and beyond. Email kob@CelticCollegeConsultants.com to schedule a consultation.

 

Turning Test Scores into Scholarships, Lower Costs, & More

 

by Katherine O'Brien, MA CCPS, Founder of Celtic College Consultants

As PSAT scores are released, another world of opportunities is opened to teens and their parents. Unfortunately, most are blind to the possibilities.

Test Scores Direct the College Search

Selecting a college is a task with many steps. Finding the right environment to develop in as a person is a daunting task. There are numerous factors to consider. Most students don't consider schools very far from home. Whether the propensity to choose a college close to home is due to a lack of confidence, the enticement of in state tuition (at public universities), the familiarity of schools nearby, or some other reason, it's important to make the decision carefully.

In addition to social factors and educational opportunities in line with each student's inclinations and goals, academic fit is a very significant factor. Several years ago, Purdue did a study evaluating the happiness of alumni and its relationship with which college they attended. Fundamentally, they explored whether which college one attends impacts one's happiness in life. Their findings surprised them. Where one attends college does not make the most importance with regard to future happiness. What was more important is what one does while at college - having a mentor, people who care about our personal and scholarly growth, participating in long term projects and internships - these factors make the most impact on students' lives. Another study showed that those who finish in the bottom half of the class, even at prestigious schools like Harvard, did not fare as well in life as those who finished in the top portion of their class. 

Test scores are indicators of where one's academic skills fall in the spectrum of students across the country, from public schools to home schools to elite boarding schools. Using scores to determine academic fit is a powerful indicator of a key factor when choosing colleges to visit, apply to, and, ultimately, attend. Many believe that, if their score is within the range listed for a school, that school is a good fit. In a sense, that is true, in another sense it is not. As a college consultant, I direct my students to use those scores to identify schools where they will thrive.

Test Scores Lead to Scholarships

90% of scholarship dollars comes from the colleges themselves. Some of these are tied to financial need while others are tied both to academic qualifications as well as financial need. Some scholarships are won solely by academic factors. Many of those schools list their scholarships in the financial aid section of their websites. With more colleges adopting test optional admissions policies, finding this information has become more difficult. Diligent research is necessary.

Test Scores Lead to Lower College Costs

For more than a decade, the average time to graduate with a bachelor's degree in the US has been SIX years. The dramatic rise in student debt is a side effect of this since most aid ends after four years. Students who use their scores to research colleges thoroughly also tend to take the time during high school to seriously explore possible careers and the related academic majors. These tasks are key to graduating college in four years. Changing majors and/or transferring colleges almost always leads to graduating with credits that don't count toward graduation requirements. Those credits cost time and money to earn nonetheless.

Using scores to identify special learning opportunities such as honors programs and honors colleges also helps students graduate in four years. Honors students typically live together as a community and enjoy privileges like registering for classes before the other students on campus, thus guaranteeing that they will not have problems accessing required courses because they are full.

Lastly, situating oneself among other highly motivated students on one's college campus provides peer pressure to study well, complete one's work well, and take sufficient course loads each term to graduate on time.

Navigating the complexities of college selection, exploring possible majors, programs, campuses, and careers, as well as developing leadership skills are all difficult for teens to do on their own. College consultants like myself work hard to lead teens through these challenges. 

To schedule a consultation with Katherine, email her at KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com