Know the Signs of College Preparedness

by Katherine O'Brien ThD Candidate, Certified College Planning Specialist, & Founder, Celtic College Consultants

 

There are signs that the water is rising and a river will overflow its banks. My friend, who has lived on a river for several years, had to learn those signs. Over the years, during our conversations, I hear occasional comments about the level of the river. This morning, after many storms this past week, I heard about having to move the benches away from the river bank. The river is expect to flood today, hopefully not all the way up to my friend's house. Even so, preparations have been made because the signs were known, watched for, and responded to.

 

 

Do you know the signs of college preparedness for your teen? Your family? Do you know what needs to happen and when it needs to happen so your teen is ready for college?

 

Campus Visits

As I spoke with a sophomore this week, we planned his second round of campus visits and how he and his parents can best prepare for them.

 

Course Selection

As I met with my 8th - 11th grade clients recently, we have discussed class schedules for next year, to meet the requirements of their top choice schools and programs, develop and show their interests, and show the level of academic challenge that they are capable of handling well.

 

College Funding

With the FAFSA changes, college funding strategies have changed. Have you refined your plans? Have you estimated your college costs and put together a cash flow strategy to meet them? Do you know your SAI?

 

Scholarships

College selection significantly influences scholarship eligibility. So does student preparedness. Hoping for scholarships is nowhere near as effective as planning for them. Do you know what types of scholarships might best contribute to your college funding plan? Is your student researching and applying to them? Considering that in college searches?

 

Life Skills

Life skills are sorely lacking in many young people, leading some to drop out of college, change their majors, transfer schools, and fail classes, all of which negatively impact their self-image and future prospects. Are you parenting in such a way that your teen is learning by steadily taking more responsibility, having opportunities to succeed, and to fail, while being mentored, rather than sheltered?

 

Leadership

One of my clients and I discussed his options for developing relationships with key teachers so they will know him well and be able to write top notch recommendations for him in a year. Demonstrating leadership, inside and outside the classroom not only helps teens become strong adults, it also boosts their sense of self, and enables key adults in their lives to get to know them, mentor them, then write strong recommendations for them.

 

 

These are a few of the signs of college preparedness. I invite you to increase your awareness of the signs. Schedule a family consultation with Katherine, a trained, seasoned professional with 20 years’ experience. Hear your teen discuss his or her accomplishments, ideas, hopes, and dreams. Ask your questions. Know what the signs are that you are track. Learn what next steps will move you and your teen toward college success. Be affirmed for the work you have done so far and mentored for continued progress. Email Katherine: KOB@CelticCollegeConsultants.com today to schedule your consultation so you know the signs of college preparedness and what the next right steps toward college success are for your family.

Human Flourishing Among Teens

 

by Katherine O'Brien, ThD Candidate

So much of the news about teens is full of darkness, stories replete with examples of loneliness, distress, anxiety, and other ills. Most teens, it seems, are not flourishing in our modern American culture.

Recent studies done by Harvard and the Wall Street Journal show signs of hope. In 2021, a study was released by Harvard researchers Brendan Case and Ying Chen. They concluded that home-schooled students were flourishing in ways significantly different from their public school peers. This contrasts the well publicized critiques of homeschooling, including at least one call for a ban on homeschooling (Elizabeth Bartholet). Criticizers have cast aspersions on homeschooled students, stereotyping such students as socially awkward and generally ignorant. In the past few years, critiques of teens has expanded, noting various adverse impacts social media and extensive phone and other electronics use has had on them.

The picture of the home-schooled student can serve as an inspiration as well as an example of flourishing among teens. So, what did the researchers discover?

"...homeschooled children generally develop into well-adjusted, responsible and socially engaged young adults," wrote Case and Chen in a Wall Street Journal op-ed. The researches noted that homeschooled children were about one-third more likely to engage in volunteer activities. This means they are outward focused, making substantive contributions to their communities. They also noticed that these youth had "higher levels of forgiveness in early adulthood." Over the course of their eleven year study of over 12,000 students, they noticed this trait. Being able to forgive is a complex ability. It requires one to recognize weakness in oneself and others, to have developed some conflict resolution skills, and to be able to let go of wounds. The researchers also found that homeschooled children were more likely to attend religious services as adults than their publicly educated peers. Attending services correlates to lower risks of alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide. Sadly, the avoidance of these negatives are significant factors in defining what flourishing means these days.

It was also noted that homeschooled students were less likely to attend college than their public school peers. While some might find that problematic, I do not. Given the relatively high rate of college non-completion, having students identify whether college is the best step for them after high school is a boon, not a problem. In the past, there were moderate to significant obstacles to college admission. That has changed in recent years, with many colleges now defining clear admissions paths for home schooled students. In fact, some have noted that the flexibility of homeschooling can make it an ideal path to top tier schools since students can focus their program on their areas of interest. In 2018, Harvard highlighted some of its homeschooled students.

With the nearly ubiquitous and extensive use of phones among teens, huge spikes have been observed in adolescent depression, anxiety, loneliness, and increased instances of suicidal ideation. While causation cannot be proven, the correlation between these two increases is undeniable. Cyberbullying, sexting, and "phubbing" (ignoring the people around you, choosing to focus on your phone instead) have all become common in young people's lives. These experiences wound their hearts, rather than contributing to their flourishing. It is expected that these issues are less common among homeschoolers. My personal and professional observations concur with that expectation.

Ways to Help Teens Flourish

The Harvard data should encourage families who have chosen to homeschool. They also provide some indicators of ways other youth can be helped to flourish. Limiting screen time. Increasing interpersonal interactions. Teaching personal responsibility. Encouraging participation in religious and volunteer activities. Tailoring educational activities to enable deeper exploration of areas of interest. Increased time with parents, communicating well, learning conflict resolution skills, and fostering personal responsibility. All these and more can be gleaned from the research as ways parents can help their teens flourish.

(For Kerry McDonald's full article about Case and Chen's research, see https://fee.org/articles/new-harvard-study-homeschoolers-turn-out-happy-well-adjusted-and-engaged/ )

Motivation for Students

Today I'm sharing a column written by a colleague who does wonders helping people work through anxiety - be it the math test or the difficult boss.

Dear Dr. Nikki,

My daughter has begun to lose her motivation for school.  Aside from her lack of interest, she finds it difficult to concentrate. Do you have any suggestions for both of these problems?

Motivated Mom

Dear Motivated,

What motivates one person will not necessarily motivate another. One may fear the consequences of not doing well while another may look forward to the rewards they get when they shine. The external prize, such as money or a gift for good grades may light a fire under your daughter or she may seek the internal satisfaction instead. The trick is in finding the key that starts her engine.

There’s a famous radio station with the call letters, WII-FM. These letters stand for ‘what’s in it for me’. There is always something of value in everything we do or we wouldn’t do it. What is the value for her in getting her work done? If there’s no pleasure in the actual work, perhaps she can tell herself the sooner she gets it done, the sooner she can get on to fun things. Help her explore past times when motivation came naturally. If she was swept up in the excitement of the newness, she’ll need to find something she can count on more consistently.

Habits go a long way to helping accomplish things. Chances are she doesn’t need motivation to brush her teeth each day. (Teens' discovery of their attraction to the
opposite sex does have its merits!) The habit puts her on automatic pilot. She does it
without thinking about it and without conscious effort. Try this with homework. Set
aside a particular time of day and teach her to habituate to it.  We all have things in life we wish we didn’t have to do. Why are some able to get through the unpleasantness easily while others procrastinate and sink into apathy and become ineffective? Research shows that successful people project into the future and imagine what it will be like when the task is finished. This keeps their enthusiasm going until they can get on to more joyful times. Explain this to your daughter and ask her to try it.

To improve concentration, try this simple trick. Have her play Baroque music softly in the background while she studies. Research shows these compositions create a unique and interesting physiological response in people. It slows the heartbeat to 60 beats per minute and slows the brain waves down too. More of the whole brain is engaged. The result…less distraction and a stronger focus of attention.

Nikki Goldman Ph.D. welcome comments 858-335-9867. Or email DrNikki@DrNikkiGoldman.com She uses hypnotherapy on children and adults to improve self-esteem, study habits, test anxiety and more. 
www.DrNikkiGoldman.com